00:00 Chris
Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast, serving Christian man who are hungry to be the leaders they’re predestined to be. I’m your host, Chris Grianger. So let’s jump in. All right guys, this week, we’re going to be talking about lessons on. Fatherhood and marriage and I had with me, Mr. Pete Duran, who’s going to unpack a lot of these, these tips, these areas he’s learned in his life, you know, pizza, gray guy, we got to meet each other through actually a previous episode guests, Mr.Jared Greer.

He’s like, yeah, he talks this guy and Pete and, uh, so I got connected with Pete and so excited to have him join us here today. And before we get, we get in here with Pete, I want to remind you guys that our scriptures. Proverbs three verses five and six. Now what these, these verses are special to me, but they’re also special to P cause I asked PS, I look, what’s some scripture that really resonates with you because I want to share that with our, with our listeners.

And he’s like go to Proverbs three, five, and six. Okay. Trusting the Lord with all your heart and lean, not on your own understanding in all your ways, submit to him and he will make your path straight. That’s just a beautiful piece of scripture. Go back to that spiritual kickoff. If you honor to, to get a little bit deeper on that, but Pete, how you doing today?

01:13 Pete Durand
Well, I’m doing great. It’s it’s an honor to be here and you’re right. It’s fun. When, when wonderful people like Jared connect, uh, connect people like us together, I was, I was in, by the way, when Jared says talk to this person, I actually, I take that seriously. Yeah.

01:24 Chris
Jared is cool. I actually went running with them a couple of times, and I’m not the crazy a hundred miler like he is, but he’s fun to go for a five or a 10.

01:33 Pete Durand
Well, I haven’t ran with him yet because, um, I’m running as a love, hate relationship with me right now. And it would be, it would be more like a run-walk, which would be fine. That’s right. He’d be fine with that. Yeah. I appreciate you asking me, Hey Pete, what’s some scripture that, that resonates with you.

And so I had to go back into my notes cause you know, like you, I, I spend time in scripture and take notes and write some things down. And so I, it was one of the first times I’ve actually gone back and used my notes for that particular purpose. And I was like, great. And I, and by the way, this was just, again, this was 20 years ago.

I wrote that verse down 20 years ago in this book guys, and I’d circled it in red and highlighted. And I thought, well, I probably did that for a reason. So here we are. Here you go. There you go. It was good to hear it again.

02:15 Chris
Well, just so you know, I packed it, packed it around. Understanding and submit, there were three big words I pulled out and I pulled them out purposely because as guys we don’t like to do none of those three trust, understand or submit.

No, no, no, no, no, no. That’s not how we roll. Just so you know, I thought it was a great verse

02:34 Pete Durand
for this week. Yeah, I appreciate it. And the trust part is, like you said, it’s hard for us because we want to feel like we’re in control. Um, I used to struggle with that. Like, you know what, God doesn’t want me just to give up.

Put it all on him. What does that mean? Like I’m not supposed to try and that is it. And that’s not what he’s saying. He’s, he’s, you know, God’s calling us to have it’s all about faith. Right? Right. Believe that God has a plan for us and that we may not recognize it. That’s hard as hell. Right. If you can’t see around the corner, um, you know, God, God, doesn’t one of the verses help me resonate with that particular thoughts that help you resonate with that verses God doesn’t necessarily give you what you want.

But he’s going to give you what you need is right. That’s right. And that, that verse resonated that with me, so sure.

03:23 Chris
For sure. Well, you know, guys, . You know, they love to get to know you. I know you’re just an awesome guy guys. Check out the show notes too. Cause there’s an awesome podcast called eating Crow and I will make sure we have Pete explained where that name called from at some point your returned today, but maybe just give us a little insight to your journey because I know these guys are, you know, you’ll be talking about careers and fatherhood marriage.

And when I, when I, when I, Jerry said we needed to meet, God did what I do to everybody. I go to LinkedIn and I was talking to Beck about this last night, preparing, just praying over this recording session with. Pizzas like CEO of two companies. And, uh, I don’t know if I’m qualified to talk to this guy, the Lord is going to guide me.

So give us a breakdown of what led you to, where you are.

04:08 Pete Durand
Well, you’ve talked to much more important CEOs than me, I’m sure in the past. So, um, I have, uh, uh, you know, without going into too far in the past, I’m an engineer like you, Chris. So there’s a lot of similar traits that we can resonate with. But I had a, I had a feeling even back in college that I wanted to build or run a company someday.

And I don’t think I knew what that meant. I just liked, I liked the idea of the channel. Right. And so after a career, you know, in the corporate world at, at some large companies, including GE and Eaton, uh, I learned a lot, had some really great mentors. Um, we talked about this by the way, for folks listening, Chris has been on my podcast, eating Crow.

So I look forward to hearing that episode. But when, uh, Chris has messages is really getting, um, all their men in your life that can challenge you and hold you accountable. And we go into that in his episode quite a bit. I was fortunate to have some folks like that early in my. That held me accountable in, I have a, I have a healthy ego.

I’m a, I’m a confident guy. That’s part of the reason why I veered heavily towards sales and marketing. And I do a lot of public speaking. So I’m naturally wired that way, which isn’t good all the time. Right. And having people who were willing to sit me down and kind of smacked me upside the head and say, Hey, you might do these three things really well, but you suck at these five things.

No one’s told you that they ought to. Right. So, uh, I was blessed to, uh, get an opportunity to work for a couple of small startup companies in the late nineties. Uh, one in Southern California with my family out there. We touched on this in Europe. So it as well, it was an amazing opportunity for my wife and children, particularly my wife and I.

To be on our own. Yeah. Right. We got away from our, our, our family and friend cocoon, and we had to figure out how to be young parents in husband and wife on our own. And I can tell you that those two years were some of the most foundational strength building years of our marriage. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, you know, from there, I, I was able to, uh, work for another couple of startups as a CEO and I started my own company.

Uh, in 2009, uh, so doing that in, in the year of a recession is probably an interesting time to try to start a business. Right. Um, we’ll touch on that when we get to, uh, your, I know your themes are health, wealth, and self we’ll touch on the, the wealth piece of that. Uh, and that led me to. Some investors and some partners and some other people that I’ve worked with, uh, who had confidence in me to help me consult with their companies and eventually become CEO of a company called saber, which is a wonderfully mission-driven organization to help stroke survivors, uh, with therapies and products where, uh, the healthcare system has forgotten them.

Right, right. Um, we helped them and so wonderful, wonderful people. Wonderful. And then, uh, kind of on the side, I run, uh, an executive search firm where I help companies find talent. I’ve been doing that for four years before I took this job. And the wonderful folks at Sibos said, continue to do that. As long as you’ve got some folks helping you run that.

So I’m I a while it sounds like I’m really the CEO of two companies and kind of the CEO of one and just kind of help the other one do its thing. Right.

07:15 Chris
So I hear ya. So I’m very curious to Andy do a podcast on top of that. So, uh, eating Crow, when did that start?

07:26 Pete Durand
Uh, I was probably six months behind you on your first one first.

Okay. Yeah. So in, in, I think it was early 2020. Um, I was traveling with a guy I’ve worked with for 25 years. We were returning from a meeting with a client that we had lost, unfortunately, uh, a longstanding client. And we went to see them and ask them about. And it’s for two hours, they just kind of kicked us in the teeth.

And we’re very clear about why you got your answer and they were right. And they were right. Right. So we literally ate Crow for two hours in on the way back. Uh, my company had been asking me, Pete, we really need you to be more present social media. You’ve done a lot of video work. Just put yourself out there.

And I think brisk for someone like us who’s this was really hard for me. I’m holding my phone up for those. Can’t see that. I had a hard time turning my camera on myself and talking, right. Um, we did it and I just titled the name of the video and we put it on LinkedIn. We ate some Crow today and it went viral.

Um, people said, if you started a podcast and shared stories like that, I’d listened to it. And I kind of ignored it for about four months. And then in the middle of COVID, I’m sitting at my desk one day and I just Googled, how do you start a podcast? And that was it. I like an engineer. I built a template, put a spreadsheet together, identify the tasks, started checking them.

And produced my own podcast for the first seven or eight months. And, uh, I wouldn’t say it’s been, I I’m not like you, Chris. I haven’t identified my audience, identify their personas. I’m targeting leaders and entrepreneurs who might benefit from people’s stories. Uh, and the premise is all of us have to eat some Crow at some point in your life.

That’s right. Something’s happened to us. We’ve made a mistake, we’ve done something wrong and we have to eat that Crow taste, how bad it, it feels and tastes nasty and then make a change. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s the, that’s the premise of the program. We’ve had some wonderful guests, including you and for me, I get to hit record, talk to cool people for an hour and then share with others.

Yeah, it’s

09:27 Chris
awesome. That’s awesome. Yeah. Uh, I think the cool part too, about eating. Yeah, it was Christians. You know, I think we, we end up doing that a lot. The good thing is we have the grace, you know, w we’re we’re we’re covered by Jesus and his grace there. So it’s. Yeah, that’s good to go, but be sure to check out the show notes guys, or regardless, they just go straight to eating Crow, follow that.

Cause Pete’s got some wonderful guests out there that, uh, conversations that I’ve enjoyed listening to. And, uh, you know, so I think that time well spent there, so, you know, you, you kinda, you mentioned three areas of the line within us health, wealth itself, and what we were talking before, recording you like by.

Maybe give some advice around all three of those. Maybe let’s start with the health area. And, you know, when I, when I taught health with the guys that I’ve, I’ve tried to help them grow, talking mind and body, you know, things that we consume and that, you know, from our, from a mind standpoint, but also our bodies.

I mean, we, we have to be intentional about taking care of our bodies. You don’t know, God could call you to, to have to run a mile today to go do something or to say, you know, and there are a lot of guys can’t run to the mailbox, you know, I’m not picking on people, but there they are out there. So, you know, curious for my health standpoint, what tips or ideas do you have, you’d like to share with others to help them grow.

10:41 Pete Durand
So, you know, I, I would, I would tell you that there’s a lot of areas in my life. I probably have not done a decent job on. Monitoring and, and being, um, conscious about my health, both mind, body, and spirit has been something I’ve been blessed to have. Uh, I think I’ll say not necessarily figured out. Right, but had been in a pot positive journey.

Okay. So, uh, it started, I think younger and I probably didn’t realize this time. My dad was an incredibly good athlete. It was like a three time state champion wrestler. And he would go running in the winters in Wisconsin when we were kids, we were a little. And he would come in from a run. It could be five degrees outside and he would come in from this run and he’d be sweating.

Yeah. And steam would be steam would be coming off of him. And he had this vein on his forehead, this huge vein that was just like bulging out. And he just looked, he looked awesome. And he just, right. He just looked like, that’s how you want your dad to be. Right. He just looked physically vibrant. My dad’s a man of deep faith meant a very few words.

Right. So. You talked about this before in your, in your, uh, episode on our show you’ll caught versus taught, right? Right. I caught a lot from that. I absorbed everything he was doing. Right. And I don’t know that. Right. Recognized it. Then now on the other side, my mom’s has struggled with her weight and happiness.

A lot of her. Um, I love my mom. I don’t think a kid is as a kid. I, I didn’t, I didn’t see her differently, but I recognized there were very opposite examples. Right, right. Maybe because I’m a male, I gravitated much more towards my dad. So I played sports all growing up, um, very active for sports through high school.

So I think naturally it was just moving around a lot. I wouldn’t say that was a conscious physical fitness thing. I just wasn’t shaped. I got to college in, um, then I had to think more differently, but I played college soccer and stopped after my freshman year and thought, well, now I don’t have anywhere to go to do I better do this on my own.

Right. And, um, two things happened. Um, I kept going to church in college and I think that every Sunday I spent time with God by myself in church. And, uh, I, I I’ve, I’ve tried to share this with my kids, I think. And you’ve everyone goes on their own spiritual journey, right? They, they get enlightened by the holy spirit differently.

At different times, you can’t force that you can be a vessel and help, but you can’t, you can’t make that happen. So by going to church, and again, it doesn’t mean I was living a perfect life or I wasn’t sending or any of those things. Right. But every Sunday morning, I would be in church by myself and I just literally talked to God.

Right. I just, he brought peace. He said, Hey, here’s where you need to be here’s perspective. Everything’s going to be okay. And I left lighter. It’s left lighter after church on Sundays. Um, I was fortunate that I’m a little bit. I like to exercise. Yeah. So a lot of people hate it, Chris, they’re going to hate, but I love it.

I, you know, if you said, I’m saying we want to watch a, you you’re, you’re

13:49 Chris
good to go. Oh, you’re

13:50 Pete Durand
right. I think Jared is too. But if, if you said you want to watch a movie for two hours ago, workout, I’d go work out. I mean, wouldn’t even, I wouldn’t even hesitate to just get me up and get me, get me physically engaged so that all those endorphins and all the chemicals that release in your body.

Um, open your mind and your soul to other things. I think that’s why I do it. It does. It opens you up to being much more observant around you. Yeah. So, you know, I think from there, I, I was always the guy at work that kind of worked out and stayed in shape. So other people said, Hey, could you, could you help me get fit?

Yeah. I don’t know what to eat. I don’t know how to exercise. Right. So I’d go home and I’d write them a plan and it would take me like three hours. Wow. So you put

14:35 Chris
a lot of work into this plans.

14:38 Pete Durand
I did. Well, you know, if you’re a 60 year old receptionist, who’s never exercised true. Right, right. And she’s, she’s struggling.

That’s a very different program than a 23 year old from a lacrosse player that says, Hey, I want to stay in shape school. What do I do? Right. So I started to think heavily about. They should eat in how to move their body safely and then understand their goals and make sure that we, you know, and I, I, I did P90X on a dare.

Yeah. In 2008, a friend dared me to do it. Yup. Yup. I get, I get the feeling, Chris, you’d be the same way.

15:15 Chris
Yeah, I do P90X three still the 30 minute peanut.

15:18 Pete Durand
The way that one P90X three is, is one of the best exercise routines out there. And I’ll

15:23 Chris
do that. Try to pro, well, probably about three times a week. I do P90X three V

15:27 Pete Durand
one version.

So yeah. Good for you. And by the way, it’s interesting. How, uh, Tony Horton’s exercise philosophy changed between one and three baked out, right? Yeah. Uh, one was good cause it was just different. No one done it. But I, but you probably recognize one size fits. All right. So you just turn it on, press play and everyone’s doing the same thing.

Right? Same thing with the nutrition guide, it was like, I was like, there’s gotta be a better way. Right. So I sat down, um, quit my job, sat down at my kitchen table in 2009. And said, there’s gotta be a better way to look at my wife. I said, this is absolutely nuts. Uh, um, we just left another entrepreneurial company and it didn’t go well.

So I don’t have cash nest daycare. Right. We’re going to sell the house. We’re going to take all of our IRA for 2019 college stuff, and we’re going to dump it into this business and we’re going to go make this. That was stupid. Okay. So I may have the health thing right there, Chris, but the wealth thing, bad idea that do an idea.

I have a very high pension for risk, bad idea. Um, but I have an incredibly, I, I was confident I could make it work and it did, to an extent it hasn’t, I haven’t, um, I, I, I still have my equity in the businesses. It’s a really good business, but fast forward, I don’t, I haven’t, I’m not one to. LinkedIn entrepreneurs that, you know, sold the company’s worth a gazillion dollars.

And now I can tell everybody what to do. It’s not me. Right. Um, so there’s, there’s a little, we can drill into more of that, but that’s kind of the backstory. Okay.

16:57 Chris
Okay. Yeah. I mean, first of all, health was an area that you may enjoy this Pete gala work it out now. I mean, every, every morning my wife would tell you, I mean, it starts four 15.

I’m working out. I usually work out for about 90 minutes for, for different things, whether it’s running or biking or, or a hit, hit workout, things like that. But 2010, my first daughter was born, uh, 330 pounds, man. That’s that’s what I was tapping out. Yup. Tapped out at three 30 and blood pressure medicine.

I was 29. Something like that. Yeah. 29. I was on blood pressure medicine. Uh, a lot of health issues may have sleep apnea. I got dude, I had sleep apnea so bad. I couldn’t drive more than like 20 minutes. I was literally falling asleep, uh, driving and I’d had to pull over and like caffeine, drinks and coffee, like, so bro completely.

And I wish I’d have known someone like you back then, but I just wrote my own plan, started doing my own thing, uh, and slowly, you know, 130 pounds later and still working, but just, uh, got there man. And now it’s, it’s who I am. You know, you gotta be careful about what you consume and what you put in your body.

I don’t do caffeine. I don’t do sugar. I don’t do chocolate. I don’t do cheese. There’s just certain things I’ve just eliminated. It makes me feel better. And let those endorphins, you talked about, man, that, that for, for, for the guys listening to that, thank you. Thank you. You’re full of it. You guys are ones that are full of it, like start because you had to start that changed at friction to get past that I don’t like working out, but once you get past that, those endorphins come and, and you’ll be, you’ll be seeking that on a regular basis.

18:48 Pete Durand
Well, there’s a lot there. I mean, Chris, first of all, 330 pounds, what people, people, if you’re listening and you’re in that category right now, um, there’s hope, but first of all, it’s going to be hard, right? I mean, there is a, there’s no other way to discuss. Your first month or two of, of any kind of movement or exercise of 300 is brutal.

It’s just brew right. And changing your eating habits. And I, you know, I had a, I came full circle as a, as the health guy, as the fitness guy started. So I, by the way, I started a company in 2009, it’s an online fitness app. We sold it to companies. Blue cross blue shield is a big reseller. We signed some really big client.

This customer. Um, and you know, I had almost a million people using the platform. At one point in time, we shot 300 P90X level videos. We had a full TV studio. It was funny. People would recognize some of the people in the videos when they were out and about. Right. I’d be in an airport in Pittsburgh and somebody say, are you, you know, it would be hilarious.

So I had my 15 minutes of fame and like four and a half minutes, it was very fleeting. Right. But, uh, I, I, I, my wife was great. She was great. She goes, don’t, don’t make a product or a service for you. Cause you’re weird. Right, right, right. Make it for everyone else that doesn’t get this. Right. And my mom and my sister were really good things for me to pay attention to you because.

I’m I’m, uh, I will, I will stand on this everyday. The thermodynamics and the science behind weight loss are indisputable and they’re simple. You have to have a calorie deficit, right? And you’ll lose weight. If you eat less than, you know, eat less calories than you burn, you’re going to lose weight. I don’t care.

Thyroid metabolism, genetics. None of that matters. Right. It’s simple science and it’s indisputable. No. The challenge for people, especially you, Chris you’re at 330 pounds. The mental and emotional aspects of eating and weight gain are much more complicated and much deeply rooted. Right? Right. So you’ve got to get through that barrier.

Why am I like this? What am I compensating for? Where am I unhappy in my life? And I’m turning to food and sedentary lifestyle to solve the problem you got to get there first. Exactly. So it was hard for me to, to, to get, to get past that once I did, I started to be more empathetic. I started to design programs for people who are starting in these areas.

So our programs, literally, we had programs designed for people that were 330 pounds. Right. Right. And we helped them kind of manage that weight loss down. And then we spent a lot of time figuring out that the emotional side of it. But you know, people say, you know, Pete, I can’t look like you. I’m not going to be like you.

And I’m like, I exercise an hour to an hour, 20 minutes every day of the week. And I eat pretty sensibly. Um, you can’t see because the camera is, I, I do enjoy a scotch in a beer once in a while. I’d never abused them. Um, I, I I’ll eat, I don’t eat dairy and that’s because I don’t, if it doesn’t make me feel good and, um, I don’t have a lactose, I just makes I’m allergic to it.

It just doesn’t make me feel good. And I eat pretty healthy 99% of the time, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it, cheeseburger or. A piece of cake for my kid’s birthday or whatever. I’m not neurotic about it. I don’t count calories. I just like healthy food. I’ve discovered that healthy food tastes good.

Right. And when no one regrets a salad, they’re already buddy, we’re going to salad. Chris. I’ve never heard anybody regret a salad. Like, oh, I wish I needed that. Right. I’ll hurt. People will say, I wish I’d had that big Mac an hour ago, but you heard people go, oh, that salad. Well, that’s really, no, you don’t regret a sandwich,

22:30 Chris
right?

That’s right. That’s

22:32 Pete Durand
right. So true. So again, it’s, it’s uh, you, you said something earlier that you never know when you’re going to have to run a mile to save someone’s life. Right? Right. So when people ask me why I exercise, I do it because I do it does make me feel good. Right? God gave God gave me this.

Yep. He said, here’s here’s, this is a gift for me to you. It’s your choice, how you use it while you’re there in earth. Right. Right. So I, I look at it as a way to show God that I’m very grateful for the gift to give me because I can also help other people with it. Yeah.

23:08 Chris
And for the Christians listening, you know, what, if God calls you, you know, to do, to serve him, to build his kingdom and that, that entails physical.

And you’re not ready. You know, if you’re going to be the man of God that you call to be, you need to be prepared. And, and some of that is taking care of the vessel. Like Pete’s talking about to be able to act and you know, maybe it’s not running a mile. That’s fine. Uh, but I can tell you one thing, you know, those disciples and you know, when, when they were following Jesus, uh, they were ready.

And then that was a, that was a, a physically difficult. You know, just to be able to go camping nonstop for three years, right? I mean, you’re just hearing that takes a toll on a body, but you know, you can do it. And when you look at the apostle Paul and then everything that there’s just story after story of these guys, physically ready to serve.

And that’s, to me, that’s why we, we incorporate that into our, to our program of health is can’t

24:08 Pete Durand
just skip over. I’ll give you, uh, an example of how, um, I was blessed to be able to utilize my health, to help someone else. And then I’ll share maybe with your listeners, why, um, why we’re in this situation as a society.

Right? So the first example teeing off of that is, um, uh, my father-in-law was one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever known in my life. He was an incredible listener and, um, my wife’s whole family had just a great group of people, but he had a severe spinal disorder called syringe Amelia, and he. Uh, in the last 20 years, life was, was basically unable to walk or, um, or use his legs in any fashion.

And then towards the last few years it was, he was wheelchair bound and then eventually, you know, in bedridden. So it was the point where in the places he was in care, the only way to get them out of there was for me to physically go there, unless we prior to service, pick him up out of bed in my arms.

But in the wheelchair really lead him to the car, pick him up from my arms and put them in the car and carry him back out. So for a couple of years, that was our thing. And this is an Italian strong man’s man, right? Hard for him to find the grace to, to let me do that and make sure it was okay. So just wonderful.

The relationship had formed a bond between the two of us. That’s very hard to, uh, to duplicate. My favorite is I was picking him up, taking them from our house back to the car, back to us. His home and, um, uh, his catheter bag burst on my chest. I got him, I got him and it’s in between us and it broke open.

So all of a sudden I got this really warm feeling in my chest. And I looked at Vince and I said, did, did you just get really warm? He goes, I did. Was that my bag? I said, I think it was. Well that wasn’t in the brochure was it. And we laughed about it. Julie, grab a towel. We just changed. My shirt, drove home.

And, and you know, if you get a chance to serve others because of you’ve taken care of your, your body. I look at our military. I look at our first responders. I look at nurses and doctors there. You know, there’s a lot of nurses that struggle with their weight because they’re, they’re so much right. They, they, they focus on others more often than not, but if you can find your why.

I asked you find your why about why your health is going to be important. You’ve got, you’ve got daughters, three daughters. I’ve got kids, I’ve got grandchildren on the corner. I want to be there for them. I want to be able to interact with them. I want to be, I also want to be an example. I want them to look at and go, wow, just like my dad spoke when I was a kid.

That’s what a virile active man looks like. Now. I, I can get it by bus tomorrow. Right? My brother-in-law was one of my closest friends, died of LS after a nine-year battle. You, you, those things you’re right. But he fought the whole way. Right? I’d like to think that I could do that with as much grace. So there’s an, there’s an example.

Yeah.

26:55 Chris
I love it. I love that. That find your why. I mean, I think that’s a, a tip I’m really big on and something I lean in on. So I’ll tell you what pilots we’re going to probably let’s jump to, to wealth and self. Before we do that, we’ll take a quick break and then we’ll jump right back in.

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our guys are back here with Pete and we just had a really great conversation around. A lot to unpack there and he did a phenomenal job. I love that, you know, find your wine, Pete. The next area we’ve talked about is from a wealth standpoint. And a lot of times when I break down wealth for the lions is we’re talking about career and finances, you know, because so much of that pressure is on us as Christian.

To, you know, we put so much pressure on ourselves rather to make sure we’re in the right job. And we’re, we’re, we’re, we’re progressing the right way and we’re doing, and then, oh yeah, we gotta make sure we’re doing what God’s calling us to do. And then, you know, we gotta be investing for the future and protecting our, protecting our assets and things like that.

So just any advice or tips around, uh, the wealth bucket that you’d like to share with.

29:05 Pete Durand
Don’t start a company when you’re 40. Oh, great. That’s what I advise. I’m kidding. So, uh, you know, I, I look at wealth the same way. I look at my health, right? Every, every exercise, every healthy meal, um, by watching what I put in my mind spiritually, what, when I’m reading, when I’m listening to all those little investments, I mean, We’ll pay dividends.

When I am ready to retire, I’ll have a healthy mind, body and soul to enjoy those years to continue to serve my family, my wife, my kids. So your, your wealth is no different than your health. You’ve got to make those micro investment. For years. And you know what? I try to talk to my kids. My oldest son is in commercial real estate.

My youngest son is his favorite class right now in colleges is on investing is learning how to put your money into assets that will serve you later. Right? So, um, whether it’s real estate or other investments, That money will work for you down the road. And then, uh, Chris, your, your home is your only debt and that’s an asset, right?

So it’s working for you. That’s where you want to get to at a young age, the hard part for most of us, especially in the social media based society, which is keeping up with the Joneses and looking everybody’s images about their fancy car and their home and their vacation. They’ll look like living the dream.

I would venture to say a lot of those people are in debt up to there. You know, what’s. So when you’re younger, those first 10 years after school or college and your marriage are so important to protect and reduce as much debt as possible, right. And create as many assets in your life that will produce wealth for you later on which you don’t realize it, that.

Remove so much trash in your marriage as you start to put kids through school or whatever it is. So, uh, for me, and I’ve got one of my closest friends, I’m his longest sale cycle ever is a really tremendous financial advisor. Very Christian-based his mantra for his business is he calls it from success to significance.

Okay. I love it. And it’s, it’s really, so he’s like, look, you’ve you’ve, you’ve had a successful career. You’ve put some money away. You’ve invested it now, what are you going to do with that now that you’re at a point in your life? What are you gonna do with those assets that are working for you? Are you going to serve, are you gonna, are you going to tie, they’re going to get back time, money, and treasure to different areas.

So I think wealth to me is, um, I I’m going to be, this is, I’ve never shared this publicly, but I, uh, I’m not motivated by money oddly enough. It, it, it, it does not excite me or don’t get me wrong. I, I, we have a lovely home. It’s not a, you know, it’s not a mansion. When we built our home, I’m I’m, I am very thoughtful about how I arrange a room or how I painted, or I want it to look nice and take care of it.

And B, because it’s an asset, I want to take care of it. Right. And I I’m, I tend to feel like if I have less clutter, I’m not distracted by it. Brian will be an asset. Well, so don’t get me wrong. I mean, all those things are there, but I don’t wake up in the morning. Like you see a lot of people on LinkedIn grinding for.

Financial success that does not excite. Right. Right. Um, my wife might, might joke and say, well, she may be wish it excited me a little bit more. His life would be a lot less stressful. Um, I’ll share a story with you that does apply back to the, the starting a company where you’re 40. Okay. So when you think about lessons of, of wealth, um, This impacted me greatly and it’s impacted my, my three children tremendously.

So when we started this company, we sold every hour. We sold our, our home. We took all of our retirement money. We went all in and again, that was not smart, but that’s just kinda how I roll. And I, and I, and I’m, I’m truthful. And I say, I don’t recommend that. Right. Right, right. If you’re going to start a company, you want to protect your personal assets and let those things work.

If you have enough excess cash to invest in a company without worrying about that, going away, that’s fine. Some people can do that. Right? Um, raising money, putting outside capital and is a great way to protect your own personal assets. Those are things we get. It’s a whole separate call, but I went all in.

There were several PR. I went for two or three years without an income, like no income, which is really challenging. I put a lot of debt in my business to finance it and start, it took some investments in, but it. Yeah, I broke all the rules to sound financial planning. They were all broken to the point where, um, I was riding my bike to work and we had one car in three drivers in the house for drivers.

So I would ride my bike to work in the rain to get to work. Um, my son, my youngest son was an avid reader, so he read a bunch of books and the, the agreement was, if he read the book, I would take you to see the movie. If the a movie came out based on. And we went to see a movie at the dollar theater up a book that he had read.

And I had $2 in my pocket and I’m not exaggerating Chris. That’s the only money we had to our name, all gracious at that particular point in time. In addition to the debt, we had $2 of cash in any account anywhere. That’s all we had, but I told them I would do this. We walk in and I said, we can go to the dollar store before the movie and you can buy one.

And then we will go to the movie. So I’m in the line of the dollar store and I looked around me and there were people shopping for their entire family’s grocery list, the clothing, they name, you, name it. That was there. That was where they were. Right. And God spoke to me and said, Hey, Pete, you’re here on your own choice, your own choosing.

You didn’t nothing happened to you. Nothing bad luck you chose to be in this situation. So recognize that, right? You’re an employable guy. You could go do a job and be paid fine, but you chose to be here. Other people live like this every single day, and they’re going to go out to their 25 year old car with one spare tire in the back.

That’s rusted out and they’re going to get home and there, and they’ve chosen to drive a poor car, whatever, too, because I’ve got to take care of their family. Right, right. And that was when one of your three pillars, wealth struck me that I now relate and recognize that, um, I can’t judge anyone or anything cause I’m not in their situation or their shoes here.

So again, one person’s health and wealth might be completely different perspective than mine in one of my closest friends that I’ve worked with for years, tremendously deep Christian man, and his chosen. All the things you’ve chosen, Chris Wright to put his family in a position to be successful financially, by driving the older car, doing all those things that people didn’t recognize he was doing intentionally.

And I know other people judged him for it, but they didn’t know him. Right. That’s right. So for me, that wealth aspect is, is physical. It’s spiritual. It’s emotional. Yes. And, and now my kids have seen what risk-taking looks. My kids know the very big difference between a need and a want. My daughter paid our rent for one summer with her summer job.

And she wrote an essay about that and got a scholarship as a result because she said very clearly. I know the difference between Indian nuance, my kids, when they got a new pair of $20 van tennis shoes, put them by their bed and slept, but they, they slept by their bed. They were so excited to have that pair of shoes.

It was a big deal for them. Right. And we live in a community where there’s kids with probably closets with 50 of those in there. Yeah. Yeah. So it may not be what people typically talk about, but I have a very different, um, relationship with wealth and a lot of,

36:49 Chris
I think it’s a, it’s a healthy one. I mean, I love the need versus the want, uh, you know, I think to so many Christian men out there and not just Christian.

Oh man. But you know, we’re S we’re trying to serve you, you lions out there, you know, we feel like you said earlier, you know, keeping up with the Jones. And one thing. I always tell that when I coach guys, and I hear that come up out, our Amanda, that the Joneses are broke, you know, so many times. And, and so many times now I feel like there’s just, there’s this sense of entitlement or something.

So I’ve seen so many young couples, they get married 22 years old, but we have our house. Why buy, why do you need this $300,000 house? You’re 22 years old? Like, what are you thinking? Like seriously, slow down because, well, my parents, they have a house. That’s right. They’ve been married for 30 years, sweetheart.

So they’ve worked towards it and it’s just, it, it baffles me how, how quickly, how immune people will. Well, we’ll just take off. And student loan debt don’t get me started. That’s another show too, or just where it’s just unbelievable how much student loan debt people take on snap coaching. A lot of the young guys to consider that and try to coach these young guys with these families to, you know, get kids or high school.

There are cheaper ways, you know, Vista four-year college degree is not the only way to get education and there are ways to, to, and, and funding, you know, cashflow. I think all your lessons are so applicable and it helps so many guys, because one, you showed the vulnerability just by sharing your stories. I, I, I’m very thankful for everything you just walked us through.

38:25 Pete Durand
Well, thanks. And I, I do hope that, um, you know, I have some, and I tell my kids this all the time, boy, there, there are many careers where you can hit singles and doubles every year for the rest of life and save your money, invest properly and put yourself in a position to not where finances are. An issue in your life and your marriage, because those are really difficult things to struggle with.

My wife has been a blessing and a, an amazing partner through this whole process, because it was probably no more difficult than anybody than on her. Yeah. Oh yeah. Um, you know, and so, um, yeah, I mean, it’s, they’re all, they’re so intertwined. All three of them.

39:01 Chris
Yeah. I mean, if you look at the scripture to the Bible, unpacks wealth, more than anything, I mean, God talks about money.

And then he looked at the marriages and the causes of divorce outside of infidelity money. Is it that’s the driver? Yeah. So if you can, you know, if you’re faithful to your wife and you’re true to her, to what you should be from a, from a sexual standpoint, but then if you’re aligned with finances and, and, and money on goals and, and, and debt, and then how are you going to, uh, pursue things in a future together from a, from a, from money standpoint, for a finance standpoint, you’re going to have so much strong.

Uh, it’s just, you go, you are reduced to fights. There’s not convenient to that. So there’s lots of tips on that type of stuff. So I thought this was Pete tons of insight there. So maybe let’s take a quick break and then we’ll, we’ll tackle our last bucket together.

39:53 Pete Durand
Sounds good.

39:57 Chris
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Our guys back here with Mr. P Duran and we we’ve, we talked through, you know, areas of, of. Areas of wealth and you know, our last bucket for the lines is, is self. And we unpacked self. We talking about, you know, husbands and dads, and Pete’s got a lot of, of, of knowledge and wisdom in those areas. So, you know, P when you hear that self term and what comes to mind, what w what ideas would you like to share with our listeners?

41:28 Pete Durand
Well, like we talked about with, uh, with health and wealth, You know, I, there there’s three important pillars in while I didn’t keep the wealth side where I wanted it to be. Um, I offset that by really digging hardly, you know, hard into the self side. So, uh, probably the biggest thing. And you’ve touched on this before is, is just open communication with my wife and my kids.

Um, and being vulnerable, they, they know, they clearly know my kids know where my line in the sand is. They know where I’m wired ethically and morally, and from my faith. And then my faith comes first. Right. That’s never been debatable. Um, they also have seen that my faith has kind of guided me through some of the other challenges you talked about on our, our episode with you, Christian.

Yeah. I I’ve talked to very few guys with Joe Blake experience and nip and punched in the face as many times as you did. Right. And your faith got you through it. Right? So that self part of it is starting with my faith. Right. Um, my faith family in, you know, my, my fitness and my finances, all those things kind of blend together, but everything starts with faith.

So for me, um, I get up at five or five 30 every morning and I spend an hour in prayer and meditation every day. That was hard for me to rewire my brain into making that my first fruits of the day. I’m sure I used to exercise first thing in the morning, and then I try to pray while I was exercising and I realized I was doing both poorly.

So I had a carbon hour out that I didn’t have before in spend either time in prayer scripture to, um, you know, be here that you you’re get right. With a lower volume. That was, it’s what I’m trying to do, right? Yeah. In more often than not. Um, it’s a conversation with God, right? I have four themes that I cover every morning in my conversation with God, I’ll share them whether they’re useful or not, but these are the four themes I cover.

So I, I have a, uh, a set of prayers or conversation with God that I go through. And at the end of that set of prayers, I ask, um, I asked God to pray for all the people I know that have passed or are sick or ill. And my dad taught me this. He has an incredible ability to remember every single one of those persons name.

So if I said to my dad, Hey dad, I got a friend named Tim was dealing with cancer right now. My dad will pray for Tim until the day I tell him Tim passes, you don’t still pray for him. And my dad’s like a hundred people in his head he prays for. So I’ll literally go through and say, Hey, so-and-so’s dealing with cancer.

Joan’s going through a divorce. Timmy’s really dealing with depression right now. And I’ll, I’ll walk, I’ll talk to God and say, can you get the holy spirit, help them in any way possible? And they just talk right in, in sometimes I forget, but sometimes there’s, there’s somebody on my mind and it’s a really great way for me to recognize a we’ve been blessed with health, my family.

So I start there and then I have another set of prayers. I, I talked to God about it. And then I talk about, um, this is relevant right now. I talk about peace on earth. And I say, Hey, you know, this particular part of the world is going through a very difficult time where these people are suffering. Or I’d like to think our military, our military spouses, those are given their lives.

And right now pray a lot for Russia and the Ukraine, right. So that’s a part of it. It just makes you more aware of what’s going on in the world. Yep. So that’s the second thing I talk about from a self standpoint, the third thing is, and I kind of get in into my family. Right, right. I pray that I’m very grateful for.

Um, first of all, our Lord and savior, right? That’s the first thing I talk about. Just the fact that, that our Lord and savior God gave us Jesus and all those things I walked through. Right. I talked pretty deeply about that. And then I talk about, um, the spiritual gifts he has, he’s presented our family. And then I talk about that.

I’ll call the temporal gifts and I literally go through food, shelter, clothing, health, happiness, finances, all those things. And I, I kind of list through them and I look around my home and, and like this week I’ve walked downstairs to start that. I’m walking down here and have a cookout, pumping a cough, a cup of coffee.

I miss spending hours. God, there are people right now in the Ukraine who don’t have this anymore. Right. They’ve lost a loved one. They’re living in a train station. They’re living in some home in Poland. They don’t even know there is so much to be grateful for in that that perspective is really important.

Yes. And then I pray for my wife. I pray for my kids. I pray for my daughter in her husband, their new baby on the way, all those things I pray. I never asked God for them to be successful. I asked God to help them with their currently daily, with sure. Just to be with right. And then I pray for each one of my kids to have wisdom, fortitude, compassion, humility, faith, whatever it is, all the tools that they need, the gifts, the spirit to help them go to war everyday.

That’s right. Then the Alaska preparers I go through in the last thing I pray for us is self right? To your point. I pray for me. Help me be a better husband, father, right. Leader, business leader, friend, colleague, coworker, whatever it is. And here’s my weaknesses, here’s what I got to work on. Help me deal with them.

Right. And, um, and that takes about an hour for me to get through every morning. And, um, you know, it’s, uh, I don’t know that it’s right for everybody. It really works for me every day to get centered. I do it seven days a week. And, um, those that hour in the morning for me is my favorite absolute favorite time of the day.

But yeah,

46:32 Chris
it sounds like it’s such a powerful time of the day too, and I love owning. And when you went through that, it’s all outward and is working towards, you know, your heart, you know, with the, with the sick people, the world, your family, yourself, you know, I just, I just, I think, I think that’s a beautiful model.

46:50 Pete Durand
Well, I can’t take credit for it. My dad, I was at his house. This is probably 15, 20 years ago. And he just shared this with me. He’s a gun. He’s a very quiet guy. He’s been doing this for 30 years and I looked at him. I went, are you kidding me? How long does it take? You guys bought an hour? I’m like, holy cow.

So from that day forward, I’m like, that’s what I’m doing. The

47:10 Chris
journal, any of this stuff, or is it all just in the old noggin up there?

47:15 Pete Durand
Uh, it’s all my noggin. Um, I literally have an hour hours worth of those prayers in my. And, um, and I tried, that’s why I stopped exercising when I was doing it. Cause I found that I was just, yeah, kind of going through the motions.

And now I, like I say, I turn it more into a conversation with God. So I. I just talked to him and say, Hey, there’s this, you know? And so it’s, I wouldn’t say it’s the exact same every day. It’s not. Yeah. Uh, but the common themes are, like you said, um, those people that are sick and, and need prayers, the world, my family, then me, I kind of, like you said, I scope it all the way by the way, first.

I hadn’t thought about that way, but that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m kind of bringing it all down to. Yeah, that

47:53 Chris
center point. I think that’s what jumped out to me. I’m just some curious, you know, you pray, you pray for your wife, you pray for your kids. Um, and you don’t have to share if you don’t, if you don’t care to, but do you pray with your wife and what does, how does that look like?

Uh, when you’re, when you’re praying together,

48:10 Pete Durand
we do. Um, so particularly when we’re in the car. Okay. So we, we do, and we’ve done this with our kids as well. Um, you know, sometimes it might go, okay, dad, here he goes, dad. But you know, my parents did it with us. So we’ve. Uh, when we’re on a lot, when we get in the car to go on a long trip, um, and by the way, we travel a lot for sports with our kids.

So we’ve driven all over the country and we 14 hour car ride for us and nothing. Um, typically the first thing we do is, is we pray and we get that. And we go through the same ritual, right. We go through the same console, the same style I got ya. Okay. Same style. And then in every one of the family members engages in one aspect of those prayers.

Right. So we kind of say, all right, Benny, you’re up next to her Sammy, your turn and DAS. Cool. Your turn like that. And typ typically when we do. We, we will, one of us will have someone that we want to pray for. Right. So my son’s got a, a close friend who’s going through cancer. Um, my wife might have some, so we’ll say, Hey, we’re going to, these prayers are for so-and-so is going through a tough time.

Right. And, um, so yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s probably a more condensed version than I do myself, because a lot of stuff I do myself, I, I is kinda my thing. Um, and you know, all of my kids, um, Are on their own faith journey right now with a hundred percent just on their own journeys with God. And my job as a father was to set them up for that.

Right, right. That they know clearly where I stand and every once in a while, um, they’ll get a daddy email. Right. Right. This is from dad. This is on my heart. I want you guys to think about it. No response necessary. Right. They might down might be in the trash bin. I don’t know, but I hope. Beer too, down the road.

They, this, one of those things resonates with them and it helps them when they need no

49:54 Chris
doubt. I love it. That just such a great practice. I think the practice of prayer, you know, first of all, you know, hats off to you and your dad. I mean that, that’s probably one of the most, uh, you know, dedicated models.

I’ve heard of it. I can’t imagine the power that, that gives you in your day and the holy spirit. You know what he’s revealing to you. Throughout that whole experience as well. So, you know, just great tips. I just feel like there’s so many Christian Manet’s self included, uh, you know, I have to really be intentional about praying with my wife and lean into that.

And, you know, it was funny when we were dating, uh, you know, we were talking to each other on the phone every night and we would always pray together. And I mean, I guess maybe I was courting and, you know, I don’t know. It was just a way for us to, to kind of all, I just remember doing that with Becca every night and then after probably a year or so after we got married, we just realized we don’t pray together enough anymore.

So we’re still working that together and trying to be more intentional about that, uh, that can’t say we’ve, we’ve, we’ve mastered it, but we recognize that that’s something that, that helps our marriage grow closer and pulls us together closer when our prayer life is, is, is aligned and, uh, you know, a pretty big on getting guys to pray with other guys.

Don’t forget, you know, you should be praying what your wife, if you think that’s weird, uh, he, he needed to do some self-reflection there because that is nothing’s going to pull your marriage stronger than that prayer

51:20 Pete Durand
time. Uh, it’s so powerful in, I think bring whether men, um, the situation applies for women as well.

So I’ll, I’ll share two quick things for those that are listening to struggling, aren’t doing it with this, with their spouse. Um, you know, I, uh, I, my wife and I had, we had different face journeys. We were raised by different parents, right? We were at different places when we got married in our faith and, and my wife is a very faithful person or her mom and dad are very faithful.

There were some things about the, our faith that, you know, when you really read like rev revelations and some things that are a little more apocalyptic and you can’t understand, it can be intimidating and scale. My wife was, was freaked out by some of that stuff. Right. And in the Bible kind of scared her in like, what am I going to find out when I get in there?

And is it going to be comfortable for me? And you know, some of the things in the church he was struggling with. So I actually went and talked to my pastor and said, Hey, I’m struggling trying to reach my wife in some of these areas. What should I do? And he gave me some incredible advice because I was really struggling with name and it would create a little tension.

Right. We’re we’re both just not in the same places. I was a ferocious. And I was on my faith journey. I was energized and I was inspired and I was feeling this calling and she wasn’t there yet. Right, right. In, not by the way. Not that my wife wasn’t devout in a wonderful month. All those things are great, but there’s just a, just a tuning issue right here.

And he looked at me, he said, Pete, he said, that’s not your job, dude. The holy spirit will fill your wife’s soul when the holy spirit wants to yeah. Your job right now. It’s to be there when that happens. Right. And not push her away from the church, not push her away from you. You need to be compassionate, loving, and pray for her.

Right. And let her go on her own faith journey. Yeah. And it was really powerful for me to realize that, and you know what the holy spirit did earth friends reached out and pulled her into their Bible study. There you go. And you talk about praying with other men. You know, what happened to my wife? She started praying with other women that she respected and loved and cared for her.

And the fear broke down and she could open up with them and she could see them open up with her and her faith journey just took off. And then she was, we’d be in church in the pastor read scripture. And she, I was, I was joyful because I’d go, I read that like two weeks ago, I read that particular verse.

It’s so great. And she started going, I read that verse and this is what it meant to me. And so my lessons are. You may not be in the same page. That’s okay. Don’t force this, pray open about your feelings and your faith, but do not force this on your spouse. That’s not our job. Right? Right. Um, in that situation, you are better to shut up and lead by example.

And then if possible, try to introduce them to peers or friends that they get. Sometimes same thing when I trained people, you know, when you open your mouth sometimes to your spouse or someone else to air Charlie Brown’s teacher right. Her friend could say the exact same thing. And she’s like, oh, Doris that’s, that’s amazing.

Let God work in the channels, got to work sooner with the holy spirit, get there. And then you’ll find that that prayer time starts to become enriched. But don’t, it’s not a wedge that God wants you to shove there. He wants you to, to bring them down the path and sometimes you just don’t know what the path

54:34 Chris
is.

Beautiful. Very beautiful. You know, Pete, anything else that you’d like to get off your heart and share with the guys that are listening right now? I mean, this has been just an impactful conversation.

54:47 Pete Durand
Well, I have to apologize. Normally I’m the host. I do very little talking. This is the most I’ve talked in a podcast ever.

I apologize, Chris, but this is, this is you, your, your three topics and pillars. Resonates so well with, with me and with other people that I was a joy to be on the show. And, and, um, and I’m really glad that you offered me the

55:05 Chris
opportunity we’ll pay. This has been a waterfall be for people that want to connect with you.

I’ll make sure we put links in the show notes there and links to that, to eating Crow, for sure. And, uh, you know, anywhere in particular, you’d like for them to go visit, to learn more about, you know, the different things.

55:21 Pete Durand
So if they go to my LinkedIn profile, uh, they can certainly find a way to reach me there.

My contact information is available. And then if any, any guest resonates feel free to reach out to me. And I can put you in touch with those folks on the program as well. Sounds great.

55:32 Chris
Sounds great. So be sure to check out the show notes and guys remember the question of the week this week, and you may like this one.

My question for the guys, I would like to give them one question a week to focus on this week. Would you be found guilty of being a Christian at work and at home? So you go guys, you’re going to be put Burnett. Would you be found guilty? Cause I mean, you have to be able to, to either you’re walking with Jesus every day at all times, or you’re not.

So, you know, you’ve enjoyed his conversation, you know, share with those other people, get it out there, go to the line within.us and see all the resources to Bible study to things like that. We’re, we’re trying to support you guys and help you grow in your walk. You know, give us a rating and review that really helps us enjoy this.

Pete, thank you so much. And guys go out and unleash the lion with.