In this episode:
Even in the darkest days God loves you.
In this Fun Friday Chris recaps the powerful story he shared around his experience of losing his daughter Faith Mae in 2020. He recaps the tips shared that prayerfully encourage and support the lions out there that have walked similar roads or know others that may be struggling.
I pray that through sharing Judah and Faith's stories that it helps you, or someone you know, who are one of the 1-in-4 couples dealing with a miscarriage or the loss of a child. Click To TweetChris Grainger
I know it was emotional episode on Wednesday. You know, I prayed that helped you. Trust me. It was not an easy episode to record, but I do pray that it was a blessing for you. So thank you guys for this. Again, uh, you just, just wanted to say, thank you. Okay. For our scripture of the week. I want to read it one more time.
You know, I think digging into God’s word is so important and this scripture was very important to me during that time with faith. So again, we’re in mark five and we’re going to be looking at verse 35 through 43. And it says while he, and that’s Jesus we’re talking about here while he was still speaking, they came from the house at a Senegal.
Saying your daughter has died. Why trouble the teacher anymore? But Jesus overhearing was being spoken, said to the synagogue official, do not be afraid any longer, only believe. And he allowed no one to accompany him except Peter and James and John, the brother of James. And they came to the house as synagogue official.
He saw a commotion and people loudly, weeping and wailing and entering in. He said to them, why make a commotion and weep the child is not that, but as this. They began laughing at him. I have adversity that gets to me every time, but, but putting them all out classic Jesus style, listen, this roar on the lion right there.
He took along the child’s father and mother and his own companions and entered a room where the child was taking a child by the hand, he said to her that Lithia com, which translated mean little girl. I say to you, get up immediately. The girl got up and began to walk, but she was 12 years old. And Amelie, there were, they were completely astounded and he gave them strict orders that no one should know about this.
And he said that they, he said that something should be given her to eat beautiful story guys. And you know that the reasons why I brought that story up, I mentioned that on our, this, this not the story, why I brought this, this section of the Bible. Because this is the verses that I, that I prayed over our daughter faith, and she wouldn’t open her eyes, you know, and, and guys, you know, that it was very difficult to share that story with you.
And, but I do pray that through sharing Judah and face story and the way that we’ve worked through it, you know, again, probably not all the right ways, but there are ways that we have worked through it ourselves as our family. That’s the only thing I can tell you guys is, is, is, is, is our experiences.
Cause that’s the only experiences I have are mine and, and prayerfully that will help you if you ever find yourself in that situation. And so I just really wanted to go back through those 10 tips real quick. If you miss that the whole episode, you know, I, I gave 10 tips to help you. If you’re ever want one of those one in four who have dealing with the miscarriage or the loss of a child, right through pregnancy.
No, here, here at 10 errors to think about number one, grieve with your wife. I’ll forget that. Number two, name your baby, your baby needs a name. Everybody needs a name. Number three, protect her from others. Number four, memory existing kids process grief differently. Right? Number five, the extended family.
They’re going to grieve. He need to recognize that to help them. Number six, need to set those boundaries. Sometimes boundaries, the boundaries spell is they need to be for family too. Cause at some point you may need to step in and be that, be that boundary and help and protect your wife with your family.
But particularly for others, you’re not a grief counselor for everybody else. You have to grieve yourself, make sure you set those boundaries up. Number seven, it’s important hat, tributes and Memorial items really important. I really highly encouraged this guy. This is a great way to grieve. Number eight on a counselor, highly encourage Christian counselors on.
The of counselor is going to help you process number nine, share your grief with others in particular, your church family, and let them love on you. Well, you would not. I don’t know how we would gotten through what we got through without our church family. You know, our family was great and I love them. My family, my wife’s family, they helped us about our families are also, you know, not in our town, you know, they’re hour, hour and a half away, which is still relatively close.
But they’re not right here. Right? So he needed to help make sure your church family is aware, so share, share it with them. And then the last tip of 10th tent, the tent tip. Sorry about that. Trust God and pray trust guy. Cause I will tell you what, what Satan wants you to do when you have it bursty like this.
He wants you to turn away from God and to turn your back to say, I’m done. It’s not what you do at guys. That’s not the way lions act. We’ve got to trust him. I don’t know. Trust me one more. She lost her. We lost our baby, our dog. Initially my wife lost her job. All that happened in three weeks. It was tough, but we chose in those moments to clean now and do that through that grief, through that process.
I mean, we have grown stronger together. And as a, as a family and now the blessings, when w w we, we, we can appreciate them even more at mentioned the blessing of our baby Lilly and the blessing of the pregnancy day we have right now. Again, guys, I’m asking, I’m asking for your prayers, lift my wife, me, my family, my three daughters.
Don’t know if it’s a boy or girl yet, I will make that announcement on a fun Friday once we do find out. So guys just, just keep us in prayer. So I hope you enjoy that episode on Wednesday. Go back, check it out, share with others. I know it was kind of a long one. Sorry about that. But I felt like there was a story that needed to be told and that, again, pray, this is an encouragement to others.
Now, you know, have fun Fridays. We talk about tips, health, wealth, and self there’s three buckets that align with Dennis, where we want to help you guys. So from a health tip, I want to talk about us about this, because this is what I needed to remember when I went through these difficult. So when you had that stuff, strike and difficulties gone ahead, us in life, you’re going to run on adrenaline.
I remember running on adrenaline for probably a couple of days after faith. Like I was, I was super jacked. I mean, it was just at that point we just had to get, we just want to get through to delivery and then process. But I mean, it was, it, it was strictly adrenaline. And when that adrenaline runs off.
Your body is going to is going to respond. So you have to remember gas when you’re going through this stuff, take care of your body, eat, drink, sleep. And if you can force yourself to do some exercise, there’s nothing more than just a walk, get outside, get some fresh air, but you need to do those things because if you don’t, you know, your, your, your doctor, you’re going to beat your struggle even more.
You’re not going to our processes. I didn’t this working out, even at the hospital. When we, after we had her, I went for a walk. The next day I had to get the moving, uh, you know, I ate, I never got to where I was not eating, um, drinking. I did have trouble sleeping. So if you having trouble sleeping and resting, you maybe need to just go see your primary care doctor when something like this happened or.
Sometimes you can just call your primary care and just ask them, you know, Hey, there may be some help. They can give you some, some, some medication to help you rest, you know? Cause you got to get that rest, you know, and you may need to seek a counselor, you know, and as you walk through this, uh, so you, your wife, your family, when, when things happen when life really pitch in and knows, they need you.
So do not deny self care. Do not deny guys, you gotta take care of. So that is the biggest tip I can give you right now. You’re dealing with a difficulty take care of yourself. Do not forget that because I know we all we want to do. We want to serve others. We want to help our wives, our families, things like that.
Again, as you know, at some point your energy level is going to run out. Self-care very important. Number two, we offer tips. So let’s talk about, well, no, it’s kinda more, but guys, but this, this just came up to me while I was thinking about this. Set up your insurance, make sure your insurance is in place. So I’ve covered that tough brown this week.
And nobody wants to think about tragedy or death, things like that, but you know what life happens. So show love to your, to your family by getting the right insurance in place. So I have people ask me all the time. Well, Chris, what does that mean? How much should I do it? So, I mean, AMA coach, I try to help people with this.
I highly encourage term-life insurance during the years of your. And what are the high risk years I need this ninth dependence. I independence. Are you claiming on your taxes? That’s your high risk year. So if you just had a baby, you know what you’re gonna have at least 18. So I look, usually look like at 20 year term insurance plans, those policies are pretty cheap.
Then I always send questions. Are Chris, how much should it get? Well, okay. You need to, you need to really consider this because something happens to you and it’s not just your salary for you. And then there’ll be different expenses and things like that. So I highly encourage, I usually taught that eight all the way up to 12 times, whatever there’s a number near maybe 10 times your salary.
That’s what you need to be looking at. Megan. You asked me to be thinking with Chris, that could be a substantial amount of money, man. That could be six, eight, maybe a million dollars, but you know what? These term life policies they’re cheap. So get them, get you a term life policy, get them in place, guys.
You could probably get a million dollar plus. And plays for like 50, 60 bucks a month. Come on now. I mean, step up here. So I know nobody wants to do this. You don’t want to take that step, but get those policies in place. And then you can also own a lot of those policies you can get what’s called a rider balls and have that brew kids.
So you don’t need a hundred thousand dollars insurance policy on your kid. All right, let’s get that straight right now. What do you need for your kids? You need enough to take care of their. You know, uh, expenses, if you had to, if something were a tragedy were happening or a funeral. So, you know, you can get a $10,000 rider on your policy for pennies, it’s cheap for your children.
So get that stuff in place, guys. I know, again, not something you want to think about, but you need to do it. And a lot of these term life policies, you can actually get a, without having to go see a doctor. Sometimes the nurses, they do have nurses that can come to your house and stuff like. I also encourage you from, from, uh, from this standpoint, work with a broker, don’t go just straight to a insurance company, work with a broker because they’re going to shop it out.
There’s several brokers out there. I’m not going to name one, cause I’m not affiliated with one, but check out for some, for yourself, but work with a broker. They’re going to be able to see your shadow each of the best deal. But there’s your tip self tip. All right. Self tip. I’m going to give you something here.
Now, counter. I already talked about this a little bit, but I want to, re-emphasize it protect your. You gotta protect your guys Cassini’s know that she can process her agree, however she needs to process it and that you’re going to be there. So, you know, even good meaning people like family can cause harm at times and they don’t even mean to.
So you need to talk with her, be the lion that she needs you to be there. And he’s difficult times, but protect her gas. Step up here, protect your wife, Sammy. I, that means different things to different people, but you just need to make sure that you’re doing. And that you keep that eye on what’s happening around her and you may need to step in and man up and let somebody know that that’s not acceptable.
Protect your wife is there are your three tips, guys. You got a member to take care of self care. I’m serious dudes, eat, drink, sleep. You need to take care of yourself. Okay. Go see a doctor. If you haven’t to, to a trouble sleep. Exercise. That’s one of the best things you can do. Process grief, exercise. Get your heart rate up, get moving, get sweating.
Well tip insurance. Get those term-life plate policies in place. Now remembered a rider. Clauses. Get those in place as well. Self tip, protect your wife, guys. It is your job. Protect her all right. Book of the week. Now I’m gonna try not to get emotional on this too guys. This, this is the week of Chris getting emotional.
I asked my. What book do we want to highlight this week? And guys, it’s not like we get paid for it. You know, spotlight, Nini, these authors, we try to share books with you that they’re going to help you. And she said, you know what, Chris, there was one book to help me. When we lost bay, it has a book called owl carry you for those that are on YouTube.
There’s a picture of it right there. And we’ll, we’ll we’ll Lincoln in the show in the show notes. So you just go check out that you’ll be able to get this book. And it’s written by a lady named Andy Smith and it’s, this is called a sacred dance of grief and joy. And so my wife, I asked you, I said, well, look, I haven’t read this book, give me the, you know, give me the run down.
And it was an emotional run Nash. She gave me the, basically the premise of the book is this, this lady. I found out that she had a diagnosis. What are pregnancy, where the baby was not gonna survive? A baby was definitely not going to make it to 40 weeks to be delivered. Um, so she had a choice. Okay. You either make the choice of abortion or you decide to carry.
She made a choice to carry and as Christians. Yeah. That’s a choice. We need you to make sure we understand it. We support no, that little baby was a little baby. You know, it wasn’t a fetus or, or, or bang or anything like that. It was baby. So they carried her and they actually induced her and had her, I think she said around 20 and somewhere in the 20 week, week range.
And they weren’t expected for the baby to live on. Uh, but baby live for two and a half hours and they were able to take pictures with their other daughters, spent time with her and, and, and hold her and, and cherish those moments. And guys, there’s a section in this book that was basically, it was, it says, uh, from Audrey’s bed, daddy and I, I went through and I read this part and there’s one section.
I just want to call that room. And it says, man, if there’s one thing you need to, if there is one thing you need to listen to, is this, if you’re in a sort of situation, similar to what we face losing Audrey and your wife asks you to choose what she needs over, what you think is best for her, go with her.
Even if it requires you to make difficult choices, listen to her. You know, Angie asked me to do some big things. It wasn’t that one of us was right. In other words, wrong, both of us are right, but we can only choose. I choose. I chose to go with my plan only after people, other people gave me canceled that I didn’t change my mind.
That really put a gap between him and his wife. He listened to them, but not her. His intentions were good, but his wife needed to know. She could count on me when she asked guys, this goes to what I was telling you. You have to protect your why. So choose her, listen to her and we’ll have to have all the answers in all these one.
When tragic things happen, we don’t have to have all the answers choose. Support her protect her, be there for her. So highly encourage this book, especially for you guys. If you were for your wife, it helped my wife tremendously. Again, I’ll make sure this is linked up in the show notes. I will carry you by Angie Smith.
The highly encouraged that for you guys. Uh, and if so, you know, if you know somebody who’s going through something like this, this may be a wonderful gift. Maybe you give it, uh, you, you, you gift it to someone you use have it shipped to them. You don’t even have to download it from. Just make it anonymous and just send it to them.
Hi guys, it’s been a long week. We’re going to have some dad jokes. Let’s get a couple of dad’s jokes. How about that? You guys want to have a Chris? Can he do anything this week? Besides let me cry. Okay. I’m gonna try and make you laugh once. Okay. So a couple of dad jokes. All right there, Joe, number one, I lost my wife’s audio book and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
So there you go. That’s dad joke. Number one, dad. Joke. Number two. I just burned my Hawaiian pizza. Maybe I should have cooked it on a lower temperature. There you go. That is for my wife. She loves her Hawaiian pizza. So Rebecca, that is for you, baby. Love you. So, number one, I lost my wife’s audio book and now I never heard any of it.
Number two, I burned my Hawaiian pizza. Maybe I should’ve cooked it on a lower. There you go. So guys let us know which one hits number one, number two. I’d love to get your feedback, just a chuckle. Uh, and, and just let us know if, if any of those resonated home. So remember the question of the week, this week, guys, how do you respond to God and your Joe Black moments?
You know, cause I mean, you guys, you, you going to go through at some point, your life’s going to hit, how are you going to respond to them? Pray Bette clean to him, clean to. These guys, that’s the only way that you get through these tragedies is through the grace of Jesus. So guys, if you liked the line with Dennis, I really dopey do.
I’m putting a, we’re putting a lot of work to try to serve you, share relative people, you know, send it out, you know, connect with this on the home, the lines. Then on the line within.us, connect with us on our Facebook. We even created a Facebook group. Where’s the Facebook page. Yeah, I’m posting stuff there on a weekly basis.
We try to get all that stuff out there and we’re on LinkedIn too, but primarily Facebook we’re out there trying to serve you guys. We’re on Instagram. You can check your connect with us there. Disconnect with us. It’s encouraging. Give us a rating and review because I tell you what they really lift me up.
They, they, they, they pay me up there during the days where Satan telling me. You know what dress allowed within a sucks. You’re not people going to stop listening. You know, you don’t have anything important to say, why should they listen to you? And then I can go and God gives me a surety to his word, and I’m doing his dead.
I’m doing what he’s called me to do. And then I read your messages or your comments. It lists me so greatly. So I pray if this helps you this week, leave a comment, leave a review, leave a rating. You’ll go check out the Bible study, get the, get your copy of. Start working through that Bible study, leave a review on that.
Love to get your feedback on it. You know, connect with us, connect with me. I love talking with people. So just send us an email, you know, there’s there’s way to submit a question right on the line within.us. There’s a brand new button up there. It says, submit a question, submit a question. What’s your email in there?
And it could just be, Hey, you know what? I like to talk. Maybe I need a prayer, send your prayer request. Now they will be praying. As if you just want to connect on a zoom call or something like that. And just to have a, uh, an opportunity to pray, reach out, we will make it happen. We are here to support you.
We know that you want to be a leader. We know that God’s called you to great things, but we also know you can’t do it alone. And that’s what the line within us is all about. Building a community, help each other to be that iron sharpens iron, to be the brothers there for each other. Can’t do it alone. Gil also check out the shop, you know, check out this hat I’m wearing line within a shirts.
You know, love, love to hook you up and see some of that line within a swag out there if you’d like in some of that stuff. So guys, thank you again. I know there’s so many podcasts you can listen to. There’s so many of them out there, but you’re taking time to listen to the line within us. I pray we’re serving you.
Well, I want to know how to serve you. I pray on that stuff. Every week we ask some amazing guests coming up, you know, guys doing some big things. He’s connecting me with people that I just never even imagined. I love having conversations that help bring people closer to the Lord and that builds the kingdom.
That’s what allows, and this is all about brain. You guys have a great week. Great weekend. If you, if you remember to spend some time with your wife, take care of. Be there for her be that lion now go out and unleash the lion within.
In true Fun Friday style we share some tips that are sure to uplift others and help them in their journey. The book of the week is extra special this week as it was the one Chris’ wife read after their loss. It is a powerful story and we encourage you guys to check it out as it may be just the resource you (or others) need to help process the pain.
Book of the week: I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith
What Fun Friday would be complete without some dad jokes to prayerfully bring a smile to your face. We recognize that stories like this are not for everyone but it is important to share these items because life is hard. Sometimes we will never understand God’s plan this side of heaven and in those moments we pray you draw close to God instead of pulling away.
We are here for our brothers and if anyone would like to share their story, or if you simply need someone to talk to hop over and join the Lion’s Den. From there we would love the chance to connect and be a fellow brother in Christ that listens and truly cares.
Praying you all have a blessed weekend and get your butt out there and unleash the Lion Within!
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