In this episode:
Professional hockey players are some of the toughest men on the planet.
They live for the hard things and do not shy away from danger. Scott Kelsey lived out his dream of being a professional hockey player and shares his personal testimony that will open your eyes to the reality of being in the spotlight and how personal trauma can affect anyone.
it's better to share your experiences and any troubles that you go through versus keep it inside and that there are people out there who have been through similar experiences that are willing to help. Click To TweetScott Kelsey
Welcome to the line within us, a podcast, serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders they’re predestined to be. I’m your host, Chris Grainger. Let’s jump in. All right guys, today, we’re gonna be, we’re gonna be digging deep in some fun topics, but you know, before we get started, we’re gonna look at our scripture of the week.
We’re in second Corinthians one, four second Corinthians one, four. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others when they are troubled. We’ll be able to give them the same comfort God has given us again. That’s a great scripture. He didn’t, if you missed the spiritual kickoff, go check it out.
I unpack that scripture on, on areas, on what it meant to. Maybe it’s some ways that can help you grow closer to, to, to the Lord through, uh, this scripture itself, cuz I’m gonna tell you what, there’s a lot there a lot there. So today we’re gonna be talking about guys, we’re gonna be talking about all sorts of stuff, hockey, trauma, mental health.
We’re gonna be across the board. It’s gonna be, it’s gonna be a great guys. I think you’re gonna love this conversation. And our guests is Scott, Kelsey, Scott, Kelsey. He is a connector, an entrepreneur and a mental health advocate. He’s the former professional hockey player from there. He turns into a, a mortgage banker and a real estate investor with a, a bachelor’s in world politics and economics from Hamilton college in Clinton, New York, he’s always been passionate about connecting people to opportunities that can improve their lives.
So guys, 2018, he suffered a pretty traumatic brain injury and he was inspired to change his life missions from just making connections for others, to helping them define and reach levels of personal success in more efficient ways. So he created this thing called share. And the goal there is to help people find the best way forward by sharing life experiences so they can learn to grow together while forging long lasting connections that contribute meaning meaningfully to society.
So guys, Scott, he’s a great guy. He lives in, in Pennington, New Jersey with his wife, Larissa and their two childrens Greta and Alex, their younger kids, three and six. So he’s got a lot going at home too first professional hockey player. I’m excited talking to him about that. Cause I tell you what. Know, nothing about hockey.
I didn’t grow up. Playing hockey know very little about the sport. Actually. I’ve only been the one minor league hockey game. That was pretty cool though. There were a couple fights. I remember that. That was awesome. So guys, we’re not gonna hold you back from Scott anymore. I hope you enjoy this one. So let’s get into it.
Scott, Kelsey, welcome to the line within us. How you doing today?
02:34 Scott Kelsey
I’m doing well. Thanks. Thanks Chris. Thanks for asking. I hope you’re doing
02:37 Chris Grainger
well as well. I’m doing well. It’s a beautiful day. I’m so excited to talk with you, although I’m not super, uh, up, up to speed on one of the topics we’re gonna talk about.
We’ll get into that. I’m sure here pretty soon, but you know, I love for, to get started in a lot of these conversations, just for our listeners, Scott, just to. Unpack your story. Let ’em know where you’re, you know, where you’re coming from. Give ’em some background because you know, it’s one thing for me to read a bio.
It’s another thing for them to hear from the horse’s mouth, if you will. So would you mind sharing a little bit about your journey?
03:05 Scott Kelsey
Yeah, no, thanks, Chris. And thanks for giving me the opportunity and, uh, to do so. Um, I’ll keep, I’ll keep this prior short, uh, but try to fill you in a little bit in terms of where I’ve been and kind of what, what, what, what I’ve gone through and, uh, you know, some experience that I, that I feel we’re sharing.
Just to paint a picture in terms of where I’m at and where I’m looking to, to go with it. Okay. Um, but yeah, I, um, so thanks again for having me be, uh, so I currently live in Pennington, New Jersey. Uh, it’s right outside of, um, Princeton, New Jersey. I’ve been here for about, uh, 23 years. Um, growing up, I, I grew up in a small town park mills, New York.
Uh, it’s kind of nestled in between, uh, Syracuse and Albany and upstate new. I grew up there loving family, brother and sister, um, you know, went to high school in that town, ended up, uh, going to college in that town. You know, Hamilton college was right in Clinton, New York. I was, you know, blessed to play, uh, four years of college hockey.
Uh, graduating four years. Um, and, uh, I, I got a chance, uh, to pursue my dream, which is to play professionally, um, after I graduated college and I did that for, uh, for about four and a half seasons. Okay. So that was, uh, early to mid nineties or mid yeah, 93 to 97 98. Um, and enjoyed it. I saw some great parts of the country.
You know, was in the, you know, was in the central hockey league in the east coast hockey league at the time. So I lived in some good cities, San Antonio, Texas, Memphis, Tennessee, uh, Louisville, Kentucky, um, but traveled to a, a bunch of other, you know, towns playing, playing hockey, and then took a job up here at 98, hung up the skates for what I thought would be the last time, you know, actually getting paid to play.
Um, took a job here in the, in the finance industry, worked for a mortgage company and got, uh, involved in youth hockey little bit, um, You know, then, then laced up the skates again, professionally with a new team that came in town in 2000 and played there for parts of about two or three seasons. So, um, along with that grew my mortgage business or mortgage career worked with some great companies.
Currently, still have actively licensed in the mortgage in the mortgage world, um, and had done that, uh, to some success, uh, and, and had a great run at it the last 20 plus years. And, um, shifted a little bit. Um, and added to, uh, my daily grind in mind, uh, uh, got married eight years ago, have a, you know, a great, uh, awesome wife, very supportive, um, who was a teacher?
Um, she’s, she’s raised her kids for the last eight years, seven years. Um, sorry, her daughter’s, um, six and a half. Her’s three and a half. Amongst all that still managed to, uh, to grind away and, and, you know, gain some sort of level of success or whatever. I thought it was at that time. Um, very blessed to have, you know, just good relationships and mm-hmm, good companies work more in the backing and, um, amongst all that, and, and I’m sure we can, uh, dive into it.
Um, Some of the, the back and forth is, uh, what really started me thinking about where I was a, you know, best, uh, where I was best positioned and utilized, uh, to help others was, uh, I suffered a traumatic, uh, brain injury four years ago, uh, near fatal fall downstairs, which, which got me thinking about a bunch of things.
Um, And, uh, kind of just brought up a lot in the past that I hadn’t taken care of. And, and that’s given me the opportunity, like I discussed with you to, uh, to share my story, uh, to help others who maybe going through or have gone through, uh, similar type of situations. So hopefully that gives you a little bit of paints, a little bit of a picture of, uh, you know, my upbringing, kind of some things I’ve been through and I’m glad to share any and all yeah, up here and the listeners
06:52 Chris Grainger
I mean for me personally, we’re gonna unpack a lot of this Scott, but for some guy who never grew up around hockey, I have a lot of questions on just the game in general. Like what, what position did you play? I mean, what, what, what is it, what, and then we’ll get into the spiritual elements of hockey too.
Cause I am curious, you know, I, I was recently, I was able to interview a former major league baseball player and he gave me some insight to, you know, spirituality. Inside the locker room. So I’m very curious as that from a spiritual standpoint, what does that look like? Does it even exist in a hockey team, but maybe just start off with like, you know, what type of positions did you play?
What did you enjoy most about the game?
07:33 Scott Kelsey
Those are some good questions. Um, so I was a defenseman by trade, you know, you know, I was, I forward growing up. Um, and then in high school, um, I was asked to play defense. I also, you know, gave me a spot on the high school team. Right. Pretty competitive high school team.
And then I just stuck with it through college. And, and then professionally I did at times, um, play forward, um, when need be, you know, a lot of times when, when there’s some movement in the professional ranks, Um, you know, it was a, it was a, it was a way for me to maintain a roster spot and play versus mm-hmm versus not play.
So I had a little bit of, but primarily, um, a defenseman. So, um, I mean, I loved all aspects of it. I mean, I loved, you know, um, a that I got continued, you know, got paid for what I loved doing. Um, got to, got to travel a bunch. I played it at. Pretty pretty high levels with some pretty amazing, um, teammates and, and opponents loved the competitors of it loved the fact that you actually, you know, had to stay in shape to, to be an effective player.
Um, you know, there’s a lot of, uh, supervision in terms of that respect when you’re, you know, both in college, but obviously amplified when you’re playing professionally, because it’s their duty to keep you on the ice and kind of keep you, keep you going on all cylinders. So, um, you know, the spirituality part, that’s interesting, um, you know, I think it can be different depending upon the individual and the team itself.
Right. Like I think just anything else in society, you know, there are, um, you know, there are, there are association in terms of, with other people who, who might, you know, practice in their faith a little bit more than others. Um, mm-hmm, , you know, devote that aspect or some part of their, their daily, um, routine to that.
Um, You know, and, and I, I haven’t really thought about it as much, really much at all. Um, in terms of going back and looking back at it. But, um, I don’t think anything when I played, it was really fr down upon, you know, right. Or I just, you know, you let guys, um, do what they needed to do to show up. Right. And, and.
Um, and some, some was, you know, some, some of that was, you know, spiritual, some of it was just superstitions they had and the way they set up their locker or yeah. You know, how they taped their stick or how they put out their, you know, skates. Right. So I think a lot of it was, um, a little respect. You know, for each, you know, everybody was in the same spot.
Got there maybe different ways. Yeah. But your respect in terms of what others needed to do to, to, to be a valuable part of the team. So I think probably nowadays, um, you know, there’s a lot of other things that have grown, not only, you know, in the spiritual sense, but also whether it’s, um, you know, mindset, um, right.
Other things that athletes have been doing are, are gonna continue to do to help just make themselves better athletes or better people, uh, in general. I
10:27 Chris Grainger
wasn’t sure. Like I used to work on racing teams and, and I got, you know, work in NASCAR, not on the cup series level, but I did go to a lot of that, that, that cup I was around that cup environment, you know, for, for professional racing.
And I mean, they’re racing every Sunday. So there was like a, uh, a ministry that was, as I think is actually called race state ministry. So I, I, I noticed that was an intentional way of a lot of those drivers were, were, you know, participating in a ministry like. Um, obviously there’s prayer and things like that beforehand.
I just didn’t know if there was anything like that in the, in the hockey world or not.
11:01 Scott Kelsey
I, I would, if I were a betting man, um, I would think there probably is right mm-hmm and that might be, um, You know, groups within teams, you know, typically you’re rostering 20, 25 guys. Right. Um, I do know, like if you think about, if I can cross over to the golf world, I know, you know, knowing I have a, I have a friend that plays on the, the women’s tour professional tour, uh, and I know actually on the men’s as well, um, that there are some definitely some prayer groups and stuff like that, you know, that those people are traveling together, you know, to, to various parts of the world, um, all throughout the year.
So I know that they’ve, they’ve relied on that. You know, and that’s been pretty prominent for as long as I can remember on the PGA and LPGA tour. I think in the, in the hockey world, there’s probably some sort of resemblance of that, but it’s probably more in pockets within the teams and then just, you know, those players plugging into the communities and the resources that for them when they’re home and, you know, having their downtime.
11:56 Chris Grainger
So, I mean, I know for me, when I think of hockey guys, I think the toughest of the tough, right. I mean, that’s the, that’s the guys that you don’t wanna mess with. So I’m just wondering sometimes too, is that, is that, you know, a barrier. For, you know, some of the guys to, to live out their faith and you know, what is, is that, is, are they perceived as weak?
You know, if they’re believers or just any, any thoughts on that?
12:19 Scott Kelsey
Whew. The perception of weakness, right. That can get this. How long is this show? yeah. Now, I mean, you know, that. Unfortunately, you know, people have biases and people have prejudices against whether it’s religion or whether it’s, you know, a million other things out there.
Right. So I think if those are formed or formed before, and they carry themselves into the locker room or around the field, then they’re gonna be there. I, I, I never really, um, right into that, you know, you know, I have to think, I, I could probably, I could think of a few, few people that, you know, very good friend.
I haven’t talked to in a while, but Doug was very, very. Um, and his faith and, and well grounded at the time. And it wasn’t something that I think anybody looked down upon, I think, you know, probably respected the guy for more than, more, more than, more than not for actually having some sense of stability other than, you know, riding on, you know, eight hour bus trips, you know, in the back of the, the bus playing cards.
13:18 Chris Grainger
right. I’m with you. Yeah. And, and mean to that point. So it sounds. Lot of bus trips, a lot of overnights, a lot of hotels, probably a lot of opportunities for, for, uh, send the creep in right in that environment.
13:32 Scott Kelsey
Yeah, I think about it. Like there’s, there’s, there’s what, when I say 20 roster spots there probably open roster spot on his team for, for the devil that, uh, to, to rear his ugly head.
But yeah, definitely. I mean, you know, you, you, uh, I think the adrenaline just an, a with athletes themselves, right. you know, the adrenaline or they’re that fix, so to speak and, you know, right. Unfortunately, sometimes that carries itself off the field or off the ice. Right, right. Right. People, people, um, people deal with it or use that in different ways.
Yeah. I, I think, you know, in my personal experience, yeah. I, I, um, I don’t know whether ashamed, if I look back at it because I, I try to focus on, Hey, you know, I I’ve, I’ve sought that repentance and I’ve, and I’ve sought the forgiveness for some of the crazy stuff I might have done while I was playing or just out in my life in general.
And I just try to, you know, make sure it doesn’t happen again. And, and not those opportunities where it does, but yeah, 100% long bus trips, a lot of times, you know, you’re dealing with. You know, just, you know, it’s almost like an extension of like your collegiate career or your junior career. Right. Whereas when you’re early to mid twenties, um, you know, a handful of guys, you know, throughout the years were married with children, you know?
Um, but yeah, it was, you know, in some parts it’s, you know, extending, you know, your collegiate playing career at a professional level, getting paid for what you do. But yeah, I just think some of those characteristics still stick within. People, but yeah, there’s, there’s plenty of opportunity, right. Syn group in, and unfortunately it doesn’t, you know?
15:16 Chris Grainger
unfortunately it does. Yeah, for sure. Well, I’ll tell you what let’s get. I mean, we can shift gears. I’d like to, for you to share more on the trauma and, and what that looked like. Just, you know, as much as you want to go into details, let’s take a quick break and then we’ll jump right back in.
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You mentioned, you know, earlier in your, in your story, when you’re unpacking your journey about a trauma you experienced, was it four years ago was when that happened? Uh, yeah. Okay. Four years ago. Yeah. I mean, what, what can you tell us about that? I mean, what, you know, what happened and, and ultimately, you know, you’ve said it made a significant change in your life and just, just explore more.
I’m almost going, it’s kind of an open platform for you to go.
16:48 Scott Kelsey
Yeah, no thanks. And, um, yeah, so, uh, April 7th, 98, 2018. Sorry. Right. Um, the, uh, I, uh, I suffered a fall in our, in our home in Princeton, uh, down a set of, uh, basin stairs and finished basement. So it wasn’t anything that was like hard, typically, not that hard to get down.
Um, so, you know, it was probably 10 o’clock at night. Our two and a half, three year old daughter was upstairs. My wife was pregnant at the time with our, with our son, Alex, and, uh, I don’t when people ask me, did I trip over anything? Like what happened? I, the, the injury was so severe that I just don’t remember.
Mm-hmm , you know, um, you know, I don’t really remember that much of the next three to four months after that, you know? Oh, wow. Yeah. Um, so the fortunate, very, very blessed, fortunate that, um, my wife was two, basically two. She was on the second floor. And I always get around that she’s got super sound occurring, but you know, I’m glad she does because she thought she heard something.
She went back to bed, she got up again and, and I’m not sure about the time that elapsed, but, um, fortunately not too much time where she said, it’s kind of weird that he is not up here. And she went down and, and unfortunately for her, she thought too, sound be dead on the, on the basement floor. So rushed to the ICU had three superal, uh, brain hemorrhages, um, that they, they were able to control.
So there was no. No major surgery about that, but, you know, from what happened there is, you know, I was, I was basically had to isolate it in some sense. Right. I know that exposure kind of just, just quiet things down. And fortunately worked, you know, with a good company who understood obviously, and, uh, had some support with friends and obviously my wife, you know, um, to get through that.
But as I started. The earliest I can think of like, kind of coming out of that fog, so to speak was me just kind of thinking what happened or what almost happened. Right. And, um, and I just, it just, something just didn’t sit well with me. Um, and I realized that I’d been, I don’t running gunning, I guess I’ll just use the expression, you know?
Right, right. After something. And I don’t know what that something was for all those years. So I really like, you know, as, as I started talking to, uh, my, my neurologist and such and talking about, you know, what, what’s next, like what impairments I would have and, you know, with abilities that would be, um, somewhat impacted, you know, you’d said, you know, it’s gonna be probably one of the, even with playing hockey and all the interest I’ve had over the years, that it would probably be the, the, the, the hardest, um, injury to.
To deal with. And I asked him, I said, why is that? And he said, because nobody could see it. Mm. Right. Which, uh, I just wanted to really, really start studying more about the brain and just kind of get back in terms of something I had done prior to the industry in terms of human dynamics and stuff. But I just started thinking about, you know, I almost, you know, left my wife, um, widowed with, with an unborn and a, and a three and a half year old.
Just started thinking back about, you know, my life and kind of how fortunate I had been. And, um, with parents who were loving and supporting and with a college that was nice enough to, uh, to entertain me going there and playing hockey and then with, you know, playing professionally and just, you know, having a good career host playing, um, And what I, what I decided is that the main thread that went through all of it was just, uh, just really good relationships.
Mm. You know, and just the fact that somehow I, I, I, I thought I was always a pretty decent guy, um, and cared for others. Um, but just that I had been able to build up some really, really good relationships and, and through. Um, when I was, when I was talking to some people and they’d heard about my injury, they started point me into directions of a few focus folks or friends around here, um, that had suffered traumatic brain injuries.
And I didn’t know it, even though I knew those people, um, You know, it’s not something you walk around with a billboard, you know? Right. Like a lot of things, I’ve got a traumatic brain injury, I’ve got mental health struggles. It’s just something that, um, you know, that people aren’t out there openly, openly sharing.
Um, but I started to talk to, uh, a few friends and I realized that how helpful it was to, to, to have that feeling that, Hey, there’s somebody close to me that I, that I’ve known that I can trust. Um, That’s been through it right. And gotten through it. And I realized that, um, I was asked to speak with a couple other younger kids, um, in the, within that first year of, of, of my fall, um, about brain injuries and, you know, concussions I had previously, and I realized that, wow, I knew I was.
I was being helpful to those young athletes, but I, I, I real, I didn’t realize how much it helped me. Mm. Right. You know, and I said, geez, wow. Shared experience. And then the second step of that was, um, to bring in a. Another layer of this whole thing is I, I had been diagnosed, um, with, uh, depression and anxiety back in 1995 that I really just pushed off and didn’t, didn’t really deal with it.
Mm-hmm I didn’t deal with it in the right professional sense. Right. Right. I, I dealt my own ways. Um, and then compound some stress in the working environment that we, you know, a lot of us are prone to, I just didn’t manage it, manage it that well, but. My idea in the mental health space was to do good, was to, uh, you know, help raise money and, you know, put on events.
Um, and I said, well, why am I so shy about sharing my story? Mm-hmm I reached out to a friend of mine. Who’s a pretty big global mental, uh, global mental health ambassador for a, a large pharmaceutical company and said, how, how can I, how can I be more of an advocate? And then that started that journey. You know, some advocacy in the mental health space.
Yeah. And then I realized between relationships and sharing stories that there’s a lot that we all go through, whether it’s mental health struggles, whether it’s injuries, whether it’s, um, Loss of a loved one, whether it’s going through a, a divorce, whether it’s transitioning out of a career coming outta the military, right.
A lot of people have experience in their, you know, unfortunately, um, you know, not everybody’s writing books these days or gets the opportunity to be on stage on a podcast. So there’s a lot of value in those experiences. Um, and that’s where the, uh, thought of share became into. Right. You know, being able to leverage human experience in a positive meaning in a, in a safe environment to, to help others out.
23:42 Chris Grainger
Right. I mean, that’s amazing story. I am curious cuz I, I maybe, and maybe I missed it a little bit. So when did, when did you become a believer? I mean, at what point was it after the accident? Was it back when you were playing hockey? I just, uh, maybe share that.
23:59 Scott Kelsey
Yeah. Um, after the. Okay. Kind of like trying to get my footing back into okay.
You know, I, I there’s bills to pay. Right, right. I can’t just like, not work. Um, and some friends that had reached out, um, clients, friends that I hadn’t talked in a while that I started to connect with and, and kind of really going at a nice, slow pace, just kind of easing back into kind of normalcy. Um, and I ran into a friend of mine, um, And he invited me up to, uh, to chat and catch up and we just sat down and we were talking and he said, he said to me that we were having lunch, says what what’s changed about you?
And I said, oh, I just, I don’t know. I don’t know. And he said, no, what’s changed about you and I couldn’t put anything on it. And, uh, or I just, maybe I didn’t wanna admit it. I just, I just had a sense of, you know, that, that I believe that at that point, which is, you know, probably three years ago that, that somebody kept me here.
Yeah. Something kept me here at that time. And I said, uh, I don’t know. And, uh, And I’m gonna do everything possible, not to, to waste this opportunity. And I don’t know, you know, at that time what that meant, but I just had this feeling that a I’m very blessed to be here and B that, you know, um, That I’ve been given an opportunity that I can’t, that I had to take.
And through that he invited me, he said, I want you to, I want you to come to our office. Um, and it was right pre COVID. It was this pre pre COVID, so, okay. And, uh, he had started a, uh, just started a recent Bible study group. Okay. The eight, 12 people. And I started doing that regularly and then COVID hit and we started doing it remotely.
And I’ve been doing that for what, three years now. And it’s, it’s. It’s I think at that point, you know, it’s, it’s probably back then when the switch came to. Okay, well, let’s not let’s fill the, something like something kept me here with, who kept me here. Right, right. It’s just been, you know, I’ve just been, you know, on, on the journey, on the path of just growing and learning about my walk of Christ and, you know, um, Around good people that, you know, um, are, are like newbies, like me or, or people that are pasts.
And mm-hmm, there’s athletes in there. There’s business people. It’s, you know, people from all around the country and that’s grown, uh, very nicely and been an incredible resource for me over the last couple
26:32 Chris Grainger
years. So I’m so glad you brought that up because that’s a topic. We talk about a lot, uh, the importance of men’s groups and community and, and, and sharing opportunities.
So it sounds. What was the gentleman’s name? Who, who, who invited you? Uh, Rob Belco, Rob, Rob. So it sounded like Rob. I mean, he was very intentional about reaching out and, and, and opening up to you and, and then being, you know, putting himself out there, cuz you could have said no I mean really you could have said no to him, but I may have felt like maybe the spirit led him there and maybe walk us through cuz I know guys right now they’re struggling with community.
They’re struggling with connection. Walk us through as a new guy. Entering a Bible study, you know, what was the structure? What do you guys go through? How was it transitioning into that group? Um, you know, what, what did you guys study? How did you talk? Did you just talk, did you open scripture and just talk about it or was there questions that I love some insight there, cuz that would really, I think that would really help a lot of our guys listening and are trying to figure out how to get plugged in.
27:33 Scott Kelsey
that’s a great question. Um, so yeah, it’s, it’s, uh, very well structured, right? So typically, um, typically it’s set up where, uh, we, we have the calls twice a week, Wednesdays and Fridays.
27:45 Chris Grainger
Okay. So is it like zoom, virtual type stuff? It is, yeah.
27:49 Scott Kelsey
Okay. That is zoom virtual. And, um, and typically we have.
We’ll have somebody lead. Right. Um, so they’ll prepare, you know, give it, you know, testimony they’ll prepare, um, the formats typically, obviously some opening kind of like securing the space. Right. And kind of just, you know, making people know that, you know, this is a good space to be in and they’re here for a reason, um, a couple upfront prayers, um, Strictly, you know, 25 to 30 minutes of teaching and then some Q and a back and forth.
And, and everybody trying to be respectful obviously of, of, you know, the comments and right. It’s very well run. It’s very well run. And, and my, my entre was just sit and listen and pick up on things. And then, you know, they give opportunities to read scripture and stuff like that. Right. So you can kind of ease into it.
Like I did maybe comment in it, like, what does that mean to you? And number one, it gave me the ability to actually be able to flip through, um, the Bible, whether it’s online or regular version in a much more meaningful, direct way, you know, in terms of making sure you’re ready. And so
28:59 Chris Grainger
that, that, that gives you some structure to what?
So that work, I guess, that reading work needs to be done before the sessions, obviously, and then their teaching on that.
29:09 Scott Kelsey
Yes and no. Okay. Like at times the, the, the content, um, We’ll be discussed that Wednesday, which will then carry forward through Friday. Mm-hmm , you know, mm-hmm and then, and then there’s always, you know, there’s always a little after hour kinda people stay on the zoom and just like, kind of would in person.
Um, but yeah, and sometimes is recently they’ve gotten pretty, you know, deep in terms of stuff where it’s carried on to the next week. So it’s disrespectful. I think there there’s typically an agreement. Majority of that. Hey, we should continue this discussion with right on top of that. I, you know, I had, I had moved companies, um, in the mortgage space, uh, probably year after my injury and, uh, I didn’t realize it, but, uh, yeah, movements, faith based company.
And that just opened up a whole new, um, Way for me to be, be in, be in touch with my spirituality and to grow and learn. I’m actually flying down to Charlotte next in a week or two take part in, uh, in a little bit of, uh, some of the mentoring stuff we’ve done, um, in terms of the groups you’ve had and, uh, okay.
In general, just be around good
30:22 Chris Grainger
people. So, well, man, if you’re you’re close to me, man, let me know. I’m I’m, I’m a few hours from Charlotte up in the Raleigh area. I’d love to love to connect now. I I’m curious. So. It sounds like you’re you’re you came to faith pretty late, late in life. Did you, did you grow up around any faith type thing or did you go to church or was that, is, is all this fairly a new world for you?
30:44 Scott Kelsey
Very sporadic. When I was young, you know, I think my parents are the best. I mean, we went to, uh, Sunday school when, you know, when I was other family members and we stayed at my cousin’s house. Sometimes we’d go with them a little bit more, you know, most, mostly around the holidays. Um, but. In terms of the level where I feel I need to be.
Right. Um, just as of late, just as of the last couple years,
31:08 Chris Grainger
well, I mean, hats off to you because I mean, the stats say, you know, the, the men, you know, I think once they get in their, you know, past their, their early, early to late twenties, they’re somewhere in that 20 range. Uh, it falls all dramatically. The probability that there actually will come to the faith and they’ll become believer.
But if you look at the stats on, if the man is a believer in the household, Usually the wife and the kids follow. I mean, it’s, it’s almost a hundred percent. I mean, it’s in the high nineties. Uh, if the man, if the man’s not, and the, and the wife is the kids have a much lower percentage. And if the kids are, and the parents aren’t, it’s, it’s almost like the percentage is like 10% or something it’s really bad.
But the fact that you came to face so late, you know, at this point in your life, that’s, that’s, that’s great. God’s got a plan and it sounds like he’s doing some phenomenal things for you, and now you can lead your family and those, those two wonderful children. And the Lord.
32:04 Scott Kelsey
Yeah. And thanks for sharing those with me.
I mean, that, that’s very interesting. And, uh, I, I like numbers, especially when sometimes they fall outta the mortgage world so I can get my mind up and that, but I, yeah, those stats are, and it makes sense, you know, like I think, uh, fortunately for me it took a, you know, almost near death accident, like to kind of gear, you know?
Um, and I, and I think you see that a lot. Right. You know, it’s not uncommon.
32:30 Chris Grainger
That’s right. I,
32:31 Scott Kelsey
I, I, and I don’t know if this makes a hundred percent sense, but I, I just really believe I let leave a spirit driven life. Right?
32:40 Chris Grainger
It does. You know, it also, I mean, you’re in a unique situation where your past experiences are going to yield you many opportunities to serve other men and their, and, and their growth.
And then not to mention your kids. I mean that the families, the family structures the most important, I mean, you’re doing your things there, but your daughter. You have a daughter and a son, is that correct? Correct. So, I mean, your daughter here here would be my, you know, for what it’s worth. Right? Uh Chris’.
Chris’s take your, daughter’s gonna see she’s watching you and she’s gonna see how you walk with the Lord and then she’s gonna, you’re showing her what to expect out of her future husband. I mean, that’s it. I mean, what, what should she expect? I mean, those qualities, the fruit or the spirit love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control.
How you treat your wife. You’re building all that up now for your son, you’re showing him, you know, how to treat, how to treat his future wife, right. And, and all those things and all that. When you’re routed in the gospel, when you have that at the center of the house and crisis at the center of the home, you’re the head, your wife is supporting you.
You guys are leading your children. That’s the way God designed it. I just, I I’m excited for a blessing. That’s gonna just, just pour out for, for your family in the future, because you know, it was a traumatic. We, we would never want that to happen to anyone, but sometimes we need a jolt and that gets us in, in alignment with God.
34:04 Scott Kelsey
Yeah, no that’s. Yeah. And, and I love, I love that share right there. And I, I do think like the timing of it, I mean, very fortunate, right? Because it could have happened when I, when the kids were 12 or 13, right. Or then seeing, you know, dad, you know, deal with stress and deal with anxiety in different ways and maybe not treat their mom the way she should.
And they should. But it’s kind of given me the ability, I, I believe to, to, um, to grow, to learn, to be more solid on a lot of different, uh, foundational points that I needed to be, especially my faith so that it just, it becomes like second nature to me. Right. That’s right. But I’ve just gotta be consistent with, with the path I’m on.
And, and, and, and hopefully that they pick up on it, which I know
34:49 Chris Grainger
they do. They do. And I, and I, I tell other people all the time, uh, their kids is, is more just cult and. So it’s not what you try to teach those kids. It’s what you do, those actions. And when you, when you’re, when those actions align with, with scripture and, and the way that the Lord wants us to behave, uh, that really resonates with them.
So let’s take a, a quick break and I want to jump in cuz you mention anxiety and stress a few times. I’d really like to unpack that and get your take on, you know, what that looked like, how you dealt with it back then versus. Your take on it now and how you, how you lean in. And cuz that could really help God’s grow.
So we we’ll be right back. How many of you guys can recite all the lines of sweet home, Alabama without breathing hard, but when it comes to recalling God’s word, you get stuck to help you out. We identify 10 scriptures, you need to fight like a lion and a plan to help you get them cemented in your heart.
So grab this free resource and I’m gonna come alongside of you in a series of personal and engaging messages, design the challenge and help you grow. So get equipped today with a scripture that will help you fight the battle you are in. Visit the line within.us to get started today. That’s the line within.us to unlock this free guide.
You need to fight like a lion.
You’ve mentioned stress anxiety a few times. And you know, I know mental health is something very important to you, but you also mentioned that, you know, that wasn’t something you, you dealt with the right way back then. So, I mean, share with the switch you will around, you know, maybe how the past versus how you, since, you know, coming to, to be a believer in Christ, you know, what does that look like now?
36:34 Scott Kelsey
Yeah. So. 95 96. I, you know, I could bring it back to kind of the beginning of it. Yeah. I kind of knew there was something wrong or people can identify it around me was, um, I went in and got concussion protocol or whatever it was at the time. I, I, I got some diagnostic tests and. The, uh, the, uh, the doctor said to me at the time, I don’t think it’s, you know, post concussion syndrome, all this sort of stuff.
I just think you’re, you know, what, what our test reveal is that you, you know, suffer some depression, anxiety. And at that time I didn’t, you know, feel like stress. I mean, you know, I was an athlete playing hockey and I was fairly good at it. Um, but the way that I dealt with it for a long time was a ignore it.
Mm-hmm right. Um, Be keep active, um, in some good ways and probably not some good ways. Um, I think that, that the, uh, the term self-medicate, I guess that’s the higher end of, uh, taking the edge off. Right, right. I think both right. In my opinion and nothing against, uh, You know, people who drink or, you know, cuz trust me, I’ve had, I’ve had my fair share, but you know, for me, yeah.
Taking the edge off in different ways. And sometimes that became a little excessive, fortunately. Um, fortunately I, I don’t believe I hurt anybody or, you know, um, did anything like crazy, crazy bad that could have happened. Right. But yeah, I think a lot of it was dealt in that it was just, you know, um, Probably having a cup, too many beers at times, probably isolating, which probably didn’t help.
Right. You know, or doing anything. Um, I think probably the worst thing I did is just, I just didn’t admit it. Yeah. You know? Um, because it, it, it, it’s still, there’s just such a stigma behind, you know, mental illness. Um, it just some honest, um, it’s just something that’s scary. Right. It’s uh, you know, and now they’ll look back at it on it, you know, it’s like, What were you scared about?
Right. Like, I mean, but I realized like, you know, I could have, I could have suffered it in high school. Right. Like I can’t, I can’t pinpoint back to something traumatic that happened in my childhood. Right. I, I just can’t and I I’ve chose not to, um, uh, just because I, you know, I don’t want to dig too deep in terms of that respect.
I think that I’ve, I’ve, I’ve gotten the right help and I’m doing the right things to take the right steps forward. So I think, you know, since my fall. Number one, I couldn’t do much for a while. Right? Mm-hmm I just, just couldn’t uh, drinking alcohol was frowned upon trying to recover from a brain injury.
Doesn’t do you, um, so that, that quote unquote habit I’ve I’ve kicked, um, thanks. Thanks to our Lord and thanks to the friends and support of a lot of people that I just, I just haven’t touched anything in, you know, or four years. And I Don. Feel compelled or even see why I would choose to. I mean, I just, I just, I, I can manage life and, and, and better terms.
And I just, I don’t think that would, would, would add right benefit to, to my current lifestyle. Right. I think that one of the biggest things is just being open and honest and, and talking to people. Right, right. And being. As proactive as I can. Mm-hmm without pushing it in people’s faces. So opportunities like this opportunity to speak, um, anywhere I can be of service to others in terms of that, um, you know, it just helps me out and I know it helps other people out on the other end of the mic or the so manages are much better, you know, ask for help.
Right. And then the, one of the biggest is just, you know, help being coming from others who have gone through similar mm-hmm experiences. Mm. And how they’ve dealt with it or how they continue to deal with it. And that ultimately build, you know, a platform around it, just to keep me in check if all the other stuff isn’t enough.
40:32 Chris Grainger
Right. So, and that’s the share platform, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm right. Yes. And I noticed on that, you know, you got three pillars, grow, connect, contribute. And that’s where you’re trying to bring that community together. I mean, if you wanna take a minute to kinda share, you know, what, what that’s built, you know, what the goal is maybe for and how that works.
40:52 Scott Kelsey
Yeah. No, thank you. Yeah. So growth, connection and contribution. I mean, there’s a lot of things that are essential in this human experience and, you know, just from studies and reading human dynamics and in terms of wellbeing and stuff, those are all critical, you know, No matter what stage of life you’re in.
Right. Right. I think like, you know, I, I was talking today about somebody about just perpetual learning. Like mm-hmm, always be learning. Right. Um, and so I find that in the busyness of this world, um, you know, with all the technology we have, that is obviously powerful and, and useful in a lot of ways, um, That we we’ve lost a little bit of sense over the last 20, 30, 40 years of, of, of, uh, of community mm-hmm and ways in which we, we seek advice or seek help.
Right. You look at the self-help industry, I think is, I don’t know, somewhere 12, $13 billion industry. Um, and I, I just believe that. Bringing people together with common interest, whether it’s faith, whether it’s athletics, whether it’s new moms, whether it’s, um, retired military, you know, there’s, there’s common ground there.
Right. Right. And from there, how can you get people or, or have people. Share their lived experiences, which I think is so powerful, right? Mm-hmm and nothing against degrees. Right. Because, you know, I, I don’t wanna look down upon people who, who have studied and right. Have gotten degrees in these subjects, but I just truly believe there’s so much power and lived experiences and that we don’t give people enough opportunity.
And a lot of these platforms that are out there to open and honestly share or the environment to share in. Right. So that’s kind of what we built around. So we’re building. and then, then, then providing support and resources to help them out. I think we can aggregate a lot of this human experience and use it in a way that’s otherwise not being used out there.
Right. And I know that firsthand and I know, you know, it as, as truly as being of service and, and sharing those things to help others, it comes back to you. Oh yeah. A great way, right? Oh yeah. Like it just because you feel like you’ve done something, whether good or bad, right. That. You may have never thought about sharing with somebody.
Oh yeah. Because you’ve shamed of it. You haven’t had the opportunity, but you realize how to get that off your chest, outta your head, unpack that how it can help others. So that’s what we’ve been building and continue to build.
43:35 Chris Grainger
So is that an online platform or is this connected people and, and face to face?
43:40 Scott Kelsey
bit of both. Okay. Right. Cool. Yeah. So this was this, this, you know, I got injured pre COVID, you know, the, the concept of it. Um, so face to face, you know, which I believe, right. A lot of power to it, you know, a couple years before my accident. Talk about growth. I feel I was stagnant in terms of personal and professional growth for years, you know, you know, you wouldn’t know it because income was going up, accolades were going up, but I was, I was flatlined, you know, I kind of kicked it into the gear a little bit with the good coach, um, who we studied a lot of human dynamics and stuff like that.
So that’s kind of. Got interrupted a little bit in terms of my accident, but that’s where I went back to. Right. Just learning how to be vulnerable with people that you work with. So, um, I think, you know, a lot of it was meant to be face to face. And the part of that, obviously we can use technology in good ways in terms of being able to connect people.
You can’t see it right now. There’s a counter up here. I, I hit around with the guys in the office. I hit the button every time, so I knew new join. And, and, but you know, it, it could say 26,000, it could say 26, it could say 2,600. I know we’re right where we need to be. Right. And that’s where I had to put my trust and faith in the Lord that, yeah.
Financially. Like I, you know, it it’s like, geez, you know, we’ve dumped some money, some resources, some time, you know, where would we be if we had more resources, we had more money, but I know I just gotta say, Hey, it’s in your hands. Like, you know, you know, show me, show me what is the, what is the one you’re gonna know?
Uh, show me the way I should go for, for, to you and trust my soul. I think that is relative to some of it is that I just have to put my faith and trust in God that I’m where I need to be. And, and that every, every time that clicker click. It’s one more person we’re helping out there. Right. And, and then hopefully exponentially that snowballs and we can help a lot of different people in a lot of different ways.
45:26 Chris Grainger
Well, Scott, we’ll make sure we sync that up in the show notes for the listeners and I totally get where you’re at. I mean, I’m in the same way with the line within us. I mean, we, we want to keep growing. It feels like, I mean, all the stats are saying the things we’re going in the right direction, but, uh, you know, at some point like, all right, come on.
Let’s we, it takes resources to have conversations like this to really serve you well, and, and it. I totally get where you’re at, but just keep doing the Lord’s work, my friend and, and good things will happen for sure.
45:52 Scott Kelsey
Well, thanks, Chris. I’ve really applauded you for all you’re doing and I appreciate you reaching out.
Oh, absolutely. And giving me the opportunity to share my story in a little about what we’re doing
46:03 Chris Grainger
now. The last thing I do Scott with every interview is a lightning round and I call it defeating time, which sort of line within us. So I guess you’re jumping into the lines gauge. I got like eight questions, their quick.
They can be one word answers. Um, if you’re willing to play, we’ll jump right in and do that one 100%. All right. Cool. Number one. What’s your favorite thing about God?
46:22 Scott Kelsey
His never ending support of everything and
46:25 Chris Grainger
all I do. There you go. What’s your, what’s your least favorite thing about God
46:30 Scott Kelsey
that he’s allowed me to struggle.
46:32 Chris Grainger
Okay. Very you go. Where, what are you currently struggling with right now?
46:38 Scott Kelsey
Struggling with. My inability
to really see what’s in front of me. Okay.
46:52 Chris Grainger
Totally get that number. Uh, next one. What are you most afraid of?
46:57 Scott Kelsey
I’m afraid of that. I’m not doing everything I can to, to be here for as long as I can be to support my family and kids. Okay.
47:10 Chris Grainger
Totally get it looking at the last year, previous 12 months, what did you spend too much time doing?
47:20 Scott Kelsey
Making excuses. There you go for not doing the things that I know I need to be doing day in and day out.
47:29 Chris Grainger
Right guys. We’re so good at that. Aren’t we? What do you wish you would’ve learned about God sooner?
47:36 Scott Kelsey
How powerful he is.
47:39 Chris Grainger
There you go. What’s a new habit that you want to create this year.
47:43 Scott Kelsey
I think I need to end my day in prayer.
Okay. More consistently. I start in prayer. Yeah. I continue a prayer, but I think I need to dedicate like some really quiet time. To just pray and be thankful and be grateful at night. And that, that should be the last thing. Before I put my head down on the pillow to go to bed
48:07 Chris Grainger
one, uh, one piece of advice, something I’ve started very recently, uh, on that, on that same thread is I’m ending the day with prayer, with my wife.
And, uh, I basically ask her, what can I pray for you about, and this is the last thing we do before we go to bed. And it’s me, me. I mean, I lay my hands on her. Should. I pray out loud. I pray over our, our marriage, you know, think whatever she has. Uh, and, and, and then, you know, then we go to sleep and that’s been something that’s been, um, very peaceful.
It’s really helped our it’s. And for one it’s helped me connect with her on what’s on her heart. So that’s, that’s one piece of advice. And, um, last question, Scott, what’s one thing that you hope people, the lions out there, what do, what do you hope they remember from this conversation?
48:56 Scott Kelsey
I hope that, um, that people remember it’s better to share your experiences and any troubles that you go through versus keep it inside.
Mm-hmm and that there are people out there who have been through similar. Experiences that, that, that are out there and that are willing to help and, and that it really will truly help you and, and not bury those because, uh, those buckets get filled all too quickly. Yeah. Yeah. We all need, uh, we all need to, to empty those buckets in, in many
49:37 Chris Grainger
Very good, sir. Where, where do you want people to connect? I mean, we’ll make sure we sync things up, but Scott, where, where should they go to learn more, uh, and, and, and, and connect with you and. Um, you know, for the resources that you’ve built to serve them.
49:52 Scott Kelsey
Yeah. So, no, thanks for asking that. So, uh, share.com, S H AR E a P y.com.
Okay. You know, and there’s a, there’s a little, uh, there’s a little tab in there. Uh, that goes directly to me. Okay. It’ll tell you a little bit more about what we’re doing and some of the resources and opportunities we have out there for people.
50:09 Chris Grainger
Perfect. We’ll make sure that’s in the show, those guys. So be sure to check that out.
Scott’s got some great things he’s built. Uh, anything else you got Scott?
50:16 Scott Kelsey
I, I would just love to thank you again for this opportunity. I mean, it’s, it’s this, this journey’s been incredible and, and you being part of it, and I’m so blessed to, uh, to be asked to be on the show. And I just truly hope that everybody out there, um, you know, gets a chance to, to, to live, um, their best life and, and have God as part of that and have, have him be the guidance source is what I.
50:43 Chris Grainger
Amen brother. That’s what in line within this is all about. So, Scott, thank you so much for taking your time. Well, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Getting to know you, my friend, and just appreciate your, your openness, your honesty, and your vulnerability, just to everything you share today.
50:56 Scott Kelsey
Thank you, Chris. God, a bless.
51:01 Chris Grainger
Think about that amount of emails you guys get in a day. Now, how many of those are. If your inbox is like mine, it gets hammered with items that do not serve me. And I’m constantly pruning it down to combat the darkness that consumes it. We wanna partner with you and bring some light. So join the lion, stand to be part of our community and get positivity delivered to you directly.
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Now don’t get mad at me cuz I don’t understand hockey. Okay. I grew up in the south. We didn’t have hockey. Yeah. I know. I live in North Carolina. We have the Carolina hurricanes. I get it, but it’s just never been something. I really understood that. Well, so I learned a lot from Scott on the hockey part there, but what a great story I’m so encouraged, you know, later in life, you know he’s and he’s he found the Lord and then he humble himself enough to accept.
Now look what I mean, the Lord is gonna do great things. He’s in a position to lead his family. Well, there are so many things now because Scott is line with Jesus Christ and look, and guys, it takes intention. You heard that, that the gentleman Rob, who called him out and, and, and invited him to his Bible study, it takes one small act, one small act of intentional kindness.
And you could open up the world, someone. If that doesn’t get you fired up. I don’t know what does, but so guys, you really need to act here. Okay. I mean, this is this. If this, anything from this message, you need to learn that, you know, reach out, be a disciple, really be intentional about trying to help people come to know the Lord, cuz you never know, you know what they’re battling, what they’re dealing with and the impact it could have on their.
So guys, I pray this message and encourages you. I pray. This is something that, that you learned something from. Great talk about hockey. What a crazy story about the trauma he went through, right? I mean just a blessing to be here and the mental health, all of it ties together, but the, the red thread is Jesus Christ and then be part of a community guys, immunity guys, you’re missing the opportunity.
If you’re not part of a Bible study, a men’s. You need to join, join the line, the lion, then go ahead. Do that right now. And then email me, let tell me where you’re struggling. Okay. Where are are? You’re not part of community, cause I’m gonna help you try to find one. I gotta do that. If anything, I can connect you with people and hopefully get you in a group.
We’re even gonna be doing our own groups. We’re gonna be trying to, I find opportunities to bring men together. Cause I’ve heard this too much now about how we need community, about how guys are struggl. So let’s just go ahead and hit it head on. Let’s bring people together. That’s what it’s all about. So you have to go to the lion within.us.
Find those resources, go get that Bible study. I mean, seriously, what are you waiting on? Get the Bible study, have that start going through that. Check out the blogs, check out all the other resources that we’re building. Guys. We are trying to serve you every week, weekend, week out. You know, if you want to consider being a donor, that would be amazing.
Be a donor. There’s an option, right? You could be a monthly donor. You can make the line within us. Part of your monthly path. We are trying to do the Lord’s work and look, and guys we’re gonna keep leaning in. Satan does not want the line within us to be successful. The fact that you’re listening right now is totally, totally pissing him off guys.
I’m okay with that. Ephesians six, I have the armor. I have the sword and I have my lines den my brothers out there that are, listen. Guys. I pray. You have a great day. Come on back on Friday. We’re gonna wrap this thing up in a fun Friday format and you know what? We’re gonna have some fun there. Give us a rating, write a review, have a great day.
Send this one out. If this impacted you, maybe you’re a hockey guy. You know, somebody else who plays hockey or likes hockey, send this one to ’em. Hey, listen to this hockey guy talking. They don’t even need to know it’s about faith. Or Jesus, maybe that’s the, that’s an opportunity to, to, for you to have a conversation about the gospel.
You never know the doors that are going to open up when you take action and lean in for Jesus. So guys, it’s time go out, unleash the lion within.
Scott shares how a fall at his home one evening changed everything in his life. It was in the aftermath of the trauma that the Holy Spirit began to move and Scott realized that being a good guy is not enough. He had Lions in his life that invited him to a local Bible study and the grace train of Jesus Christ ran him over.
Scott has since started a wonderful community called Shareapy where he focuses on growth, connection and contribution. It is a great way for people to come together and share from lessons learned in life and truly support each other.
He highly encourage everyone to share your experiences and troubles that you are going through versus keeping it inside. There is power in community and conversation. Satan wants you to isolate and not seek help from others. Do not let that take root in your life and be intentional about sharing with others what is on your heart.
This is a powerful conversation and one that is full of wisdom and insight to help you unleash the Lion Within!
Check out Shareapy
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