In this episode:
You are not defined by your past.
In this powerful conversation Torres McLean unpacks his journey that would leave many men flat on their backs. He shares how multiple affairs took him to a place of brokenness and the ways God started working healing in his marriage.
I hope people know to really run to Jesus. Lean into Him, and humble yourself. Be a man. Click To Tweet Torres Mclean
Welcome to the Lion Within Us, a podcast serving Christian men who are hungry to be the leaders God intends you to be. I’m your host, Chris Granger. Let’s jump in. All right, guys. It is your meet episode of the week. I’m excited to have you here. You know how we’re gonna start every episode that’s with scripture.
So this week we had one verse, so you should be able to get this first down, guys, because this guy, this verse speaks to all men. It’s out of one Corinthians chapter 16. It’s the last chapter in, in First Corinthians, verse 13. Okay. Be on the alert, stand firm into faith. Act like men be strong. So again, if you miss the spiritual kickoff, kick yourself in the pants.
Now go back and listen to it. Seriously, that was a gr, a really powerful spiritual kickoff. I, I, I thought that the spirit led that, that episode in many ways, guys. But I really tried to give you some practical ways that you can take that one scripture. And apply it to your walk right now today. Okay, now for this conversation, you need to get ready cuz we’re gonna be talking with TAUs McClean.
We’re gonna be talking about his book, man Code. How he broke breaks free from sexual Sin and became the God the man that God called him to be. And Taurus, he brought it. He brought his A game. He’s the co-founder of the Hope Ambassadors and that’s really a ministry that equips Christians with spiritual and practical tools to address the challenges, keeping them from experiencing Jesus Christ in every area of their life.
So he’s passionate about serving people. That comes through big time in this conversation if you are going to hear that. And he’s gonna, he really focuses on helping people get free from the mindsets and the behaviors that are holding him back from being to doing all that God calls ’em to do. Okay, so he, he has a, a really just a deep passion for this.
He has a, a, he lives in Detroit. He is, uh, married for his wife Kelly, and they have four children. So we talk about that. But I just love his transparency, his openness, his vulnerability. Guys, there is nothing fake about Taurus. He brings the real raw truth. He, he gave some practical advice as well. So if you walk him down a path of sexual sin, maybe you have just a little pinhole of sexual sin in your life.
You gotta be careful because Satan wants your marriage to fail. He’s gonna do all he can to take that little Instagram account that you’re following or that TikTok account or that website or that acquaintance at work, cuz we’re just having lunch. He’s going to do everything he can to throw these little darts at you, to get you to trip up, and you need to be careful about your testimony.
So I think the way TAUs, the way he leans in and really shares. With, with, with this conversation. For me, it was very impactful and I pray that it impacts and it serves you well, so I’m not gonna hold it back anymore. Enjoy this conversation with Taurus McClean.
So Taurus, welcome to the line with Dennis. How you doing today, my friend?
03:06 Torres McLean
How you doing, sir? I appreciate you. I’m
03:08 Chris Grainger
pretty well. Oh, I’m doing great. Doing great. I’ve been looking forward to talking with you. Thank you, first and foremost for sending me your book. I that’s gonna be, uh, guys, spoil alert.
This is gonna be our featured book of the week this week, so go get your copy of it now. But TAUs man, give us a little bit, they heard me do a bio to get a start of it. That’s just me saying words, man. Why don’t you go ahead and tell them about your, your story and get to your journey. That led us to this conversation.
03:33 Torres McLean
Yeah. No, appreciate that, Chris. I really appreciate you, uh, for having me, and I appreciate all your audience and everybody, uh, that just supports the show and I’m happy to be here. Yeah. Um, well, you know, I have, I’m married, been married for nine years, and we have four kids, you know, um, and that’s kind of where we are now from Detroit.
And, and, but, you know, for, in, in terms of the book and how God even, uh, orchestrated me to be here is, you know, I, um, grew. You know, um, around family who, um, believed in Jesus, believed in God, um, you know, and they taught me to pray, you know? Um, and that, and that was sort of the crux of, kind of like my life, but I would only pray when, uh, I really even thought it was emergency as a, as a kid or, or adolescent.
So I’ll pray about this, I’ll pray about that. Oh, somebody’s dying, or something real big. But like, as far as really knowing God and who he is and, and, and what, uh, you know, going to church every day and things like that, I didn’t have a great idea that. And so, um, my relationship with God really started as I began to pray and talk to him and see him around, you know, like 15, 16 years old.
And so that kind through exponentially, just really seeing like, wow, God is moving in my life when I talk to him, when I pray. And that led me to really get baptized when I was 18 and, um, you know, really give my life to the Lord. But um, after that I really did not, um, go into a discipleship program or any type of community or really have any, um, uh, sort of guide on what that journey looked like.
And so, um, and, and that’s partly on me. That’s partly on whatever it is, just kind of how it was. I didn’t even know it was a thing. And so, um, you know, got baptized and then kinda went back to the way I was, you know, kind of living and doing things, which at that time was, um, cause of the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
Um, I was, I wasn’t doing things super bad to the Holy Spirit. I started convicting me of like cursing or, you know, changing certain habits in my life and things like that. But I believe that that started sort of a journey between. Um, basically my old nature and my new nature and really, um, die into my old self and, and growing in, in, in the new person that God had created me to be.
And, and, but I didn’t know that was going on. And so I’m really just kind of living life. And, uh, from that moment on, it started sort of a dichotomy when I look back on choices and decisions where I could choose to go the way God was telling me or I could choose to go, kind of just the way either I went to go or way temptation or whatever I thought was right.
And, and so, um, that kind of hit a pimple head in my, in my early twenties, around 22, 23, where, you know, uh, I started to. Get the pressure of life in terms of what am I gonna do? Who am I gonna be, uh, what am I gonna do? You know, I was in, you know, more tempting, uh, situations and really I started to implode.
And my way of working through that was partying, drinking, or, you know, ultimately leading subsequently to having, um, sex with women. And, um, I never tried to make it like I was just this, like ladies man and this wild man. But, but I was living, um, two sides of myself. One side wanted to do well, and one side was just really struggling and not doing well.
And I, and I, and, and it was really a split. And I live like that, uh, for, uh, a large part of my twenties, really all the way up until I got married, I would say until, you know, around 20, um, six years old, 27. And, um, the way I had lived. I thought maybe it would just stop when I got married or I thought like, you know, I’m not even really sure I thought that, but I was hoping, you know, but I really didn’t have any tools to really, uh, and didn’t really know what I was struggling with and how to deal with the different pressures and stresses of life, as well as the temptation of sexual sin.
And so it really was a hard, uh, time in my life. But when I got married for the first year, um, because I was in training for work and gone away and didn’t really have a lot of free time, you know, this problem had kind of subsided and I was like, okay. And then I got married and we had a young family with a kid and my wife was, was, had, got pregnant and, but, but, but slowly but surely, um, I started to feel the same pressures and the same internal pressure and really the same habits creeping back up.
And that’s when I had, uh, my first affair again. Um, and, uh, my wife was pregnant at the time, which is, you know, what I put in the book man code. And, um, you know, I, I went out and, um, had the affair. And then when I came back, you know, d different things occurred to where my wife started to question me. But where I grew up and where like I come from, you’re not caught till you’re caught.
Like, you know, you’re, you don’t have to confess unless you’re caught in the bed red-handed. And even then you can say, oh, we just laying here, or something like that, right? But, but it was this overwhelming, um, in the moment while she was questioning me, this overwhelming feeling of like, look how far you fail and we’ll do you gain by continuing to lie.
Because I was saying nothing happened. Nothing happened, but what do you gain? And it all just kind of came upon me very. Um, at once to see how far I had fell from that 18 year old kid who was, yeah, I want to give, you know, give my life. And like really was doing things more godly, um, to this person who had lived like this for, you know, 5, 6, 7 years and now had cheated on his wife when she was pregnant.
And it was just like, wow, I, I have nowhere to go even if I get out of this situation. And so I just said, I did it , I did it. You know, and that was kind of, uh, how to, how, how it came about. And then we went through, um, I don’t wanna, you know, dominate this whole portion. We went through our, our, our, our growth, our healing together.
But we also, I went through my own personal journey, which was really first with God, where I had to, you know, really get reconciled with him. And he had to show me this process of how to, um, get free. Um, and, and really the last part is, um, I was seeing. God’s power. I, I was really developing, I was reading my word.
I was growing. I was seeing the struggle that I had struggled with so long in my twenties, um, really starting to dissipate and go away. Um, but I had an identity issue still in the midst even though I was seeing growth. And that was that I saw myself as a cheater still. Um, I, I, I, I saw the power of God working.
I, but I couldn’t believe like, wow, am I going to really be able to keep this up for the rest of my life? Or is this just going to be like some old times where you do good for so long, but then you fall right back into the cycle of sin? And so, um, I had went longer than I ever went, but it was an opportunity where I went away for work and I felt like God told me like, you’re going to.
Tempted on this journey, like, I mean, when you go out of town, you know what I mean? Right. And so I feel like he kinda gave me the, the heads up, but when I went, um, it was almost the only way to explain it. It was like, you know, we were out with a bunch of friends and, and, and a lady was there. And I went back, uh, we went back to a hotel and I felt like, man, I, when I, before I went out, I should have just stayed at my own hotel.
But I felt like, man, I had to see if I was strong enough. Like I had to see if I could really, if I, if this, if I had really changed. Yeah. And I fell and I fell miserably. But the difference was this time after this affair, the level of conviction and the heaviness that I felt was never like anything before.
And at that moment I knew you’re not a cheater. That’s not who God created you to be. You are a man of God who just cheated. And it is destroying you. And if you continue on this path, you’re gonna, isn’t there gonna be nothing left of you internally, externally, because the way you feel right now, you’re gonna implode.
And from that journey on, it really broke me com completely free. And that was the identity piece of who I was. And that, and that, along with all the other practical and spiritual work that God had showed me over that two or three year journey, really, uh, burst me into, uh, where I am now. And so at some point, God started to impart on my heart to write a book about it all.
And I was like, whoa, God. I mean, I’m free. We’re good. Um, what? You know, I, I, and so that was a process to be able to write a book and to beat in this place. And I never thought, uh, that God would. In a million years used the horrificness of my sin to bring about his glory, you know, and to put me in a platform like these to, to share my story.
But here we are and it just shows that, you know, um, God is, is great e even, even in our worst moments.
12:51 Chris Grainger
Right? Well, it also points to, you know, the church in general. It’s supposed to be a hospital, not a country club, man. So this is hats off to you, right? I mean, this, this is an incredible book. I mean, you, you are very transparent in the book, very, very vulnerable.
I could tell in your writing, I’m sure that was not easy for you to write and, and just the way you told your story just right there. I mean, that’s things a lot of guys would just completely shy away from or shut down and not wanna talk about or just hiding. And the way you lean into it, man, that’s, that’s what being a man is about and that’s why I wanted to talk with you about it.
And I kind of wanna just unpack, go back a little bit earlier in your story cuz you said you got saved in when you were 18. You’re, and, and what you said, man, he convicted me. So I wrote this note. Now you said you got baptized and then you looked around and you didn’t have any men there to really disciple you and to, to take you to help you, you know, with your journey.
And I mean, I see this all the time, all the time. That’s why I started lying with is cuz I see this is, this is what men face, right? We, we want to be believers, we want to, uh, you know, we get that conviction. We go in the water, we come up and it’s like, what Now? It’s just like, you know, well, well good luck.
Like, no bro, we need, we need guys to help us grow. So, I mean, talk to ’em maybe about that. I mean, what, were there any men in your life leading up to that point that, you know, we’re, we’re the spiritual mentors and this, what do you think was missing for, you know, when you were baptized? What were, what were you hoping that you would find, or what do you hope that guys find now when they come up out that water?
What would you, what would you say to those guys to look for? I.
14:24 Torres McLean
Yeah. Um, man, great question. And I know I kind of spewed the whole story, man, and so I appreciate you going back. I believe that, uh, one, I did not know discipleship was a thing, and so I wasn’t looking for anything. You know, I, I had built my relationship through just prayer and, and honestly, I didn’t even have a good understanding of the Trinity.
I didn’t understand a lot about, man, the, I hadn’t even read a lot of the Bible. I read proverb, I remember that, but I hadn’t really, I was really just calling me to himself and I was at this place where I, I didn’t even know that I should be doing anything like that. I knew I should go to church. Um, And I come and I come from a great father and, and, and a great grandfather in, in in these and, and, and these men were impactful, influenced.
So influential. Influential in my life, right? Um, and I had, but, but, um, in terms of having someone grab me and say, Hey, this is what’s going on. This is what’s about to happen. This is where, um, you need to do, or these are things that helps, or these are, you know, some of the, the, the, the ups and downs or anything.
I, I didn’t, I didn’t have that. And I, and I want to really, uh, be careful not to put it on even the church that the pastor that that, or the church that baptized me, cuz they’re a wonderful church. Yeah. You know? Um, I don’t, I just didn’t have it, you know what I mean? I guess that’s, to be honest. And I didn’t know to look for it.
And so I just kind of went back to doing things I’m doing, which was praying, you know what I mean? But no intentional walking. Um, With, with the Lord in, in, in, in, in, uh, practical, uh, Bible reading or scripture, or even just fellowship in community.
16:17 Chris Grainger
Right, right. No, and I’m with you man, and I’m not, Definitely wasn’t trying to point this to towards your church.
Well, what I’m saying is, in general, that’s what we focused on so much from a church standpoint is we just, we want to get the numbers for the baptism numbers up, but then afterwards, like that’s just the beginning. Like we , we, we, there has to be the discipleship to grow. And I mean, that’s what Jesus calls us to go therefore and make disciples.
Right. So, I mean, we need to get out there and we need to be leaning in and, and helping these guys because I’m with you, man. Like, you know, I read Proverbs. I definitely hadn’t read the whole Bible by the time I was baptized. So there’s, there’s this whole process that, that I was just unaware of. And I just think that, you know, for, for Christian men in general, and this is something that, that we need to, to recognize and I just, you know, I I wanted to get your take on it for sure.
Yeah. Um, cuz I, I definitely see that that was, that was an area that, that jumped out when you were walking through that story, I was like, Man, I, I wonder, I just wonder if, if he’d have had these guys, if he was in this, not so much a program, but he would just had guys that were just there pouring in the word into him.
Yeah. On consistent they, and willing to check ’em. Right. Because guys, we have to be willing to check each other. And sometimes, like when you think about the Christian guys, they, we think of these nice, mild, mild mannering guys that, that are not gonna check us. But no man, that’s, that’s not what Jesus called us to.
We, it’s, we have to have the hard conversations too, you know? Yeah.
17:40 Torres McLean
No, man. And I really believe that. Who’s to say that I wouldn’t have went through some ups and downs. Right? Right. But I, but I do believe that there’s something to say about accountability as you’re, as you’re saying, and I do believe it’s something that let people know to, people perish for a lack of knowledge.
Right? Like, like to just have your eyes open to be aware. Because I, when I look back, I see the, I see the enemy attacking me in. That I didn’t even know. Like I wasn’t even thinking about it. I wasn’t even seeing it. And I see my own inequities and sins and the struggle as Paul talks about, I wanna do right, but I do wrong.
And I, I see that going on. But, but who knows that that’s even what’s happening. Like you’re saying, Chris, like, you, like just somebody to let you know like, Hey, you’re going the wrong way, or You’re going the right way, or you’re going this way. Be aware or look out for this. I think would’ve at least, um, helped me and, and who knows, I don’t know how much, but I think it would’ve helped me, uh, uh, avoid some of the pitfalls for sure.
18:44 Chris Grainger
Absolutely and, and you. And what a great position you’re in right now is to be able to serve that, that next guy, right, who may be getting ready to walk down that road. You’ll be able to speak such truth and connect with that, those those men in ways that others want because you’ve walked that path. Now you’ve recognized and you’ll be able to help ’em.
So yeah, man, this is powerful stuff. So, hey guys, I’m gonna take our first break. We’ll be right back. What if you could connect with other Christian men, grow in your faith, have resources to help you be the leader God intends you to be? Have live events where you can ask questions and get in the moment answers and be connected to guys 24 7 when you need ’em the most.
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So TAUs. I wanted to know, man, you, you talked a lot around, obviously there’s a lot of sexual sin that grips so many guys. I mean, this is something we talk about a lot on the show. We talked a lot, pornography, you know, sexual sin in general. All the things because Satan wants our marriage to fail. I mean, he’s definitely going to throw everything he at, and I think he uses that sexual sin.
Uh, any chance he can, he’s gonna do it. Whether it’s Instagram reels, TikTok, it don’t matter. Like he’s gonna find ways to put that sexual sin, that temptation there in front of us. Right. And I just wanted to get your take. Why do you think that is such a struggle for so many guys? Cause I, I know for me, I talk to guys all the time, and this is the biggest one is, is working through the sexual sin.
So just with your story and, and, and the way you’ve connected with others, why, why is this such a big struggle?
21:25 Torres McLean
Yeah, I think at the, at the beginning of it, we have to be honest that not like from from the wound. We have a. A bend towards sin. And, and, and as guys, we, we naturally desire to, um, have sex and, and, and, and, and fornicate because that’s a sin that lives in us.
And so I want to acknowledge that and, and admit that it comes down to, you know, discipline and it comes down to, um, you know, not engaging in those activities, like those tos and those things. Right. And it’s a very, um, uh, you know, spiritual in, in, in, in one sense to discipline yourself. It is. But then on another note, what I, what I saw in mind is there’s things about sexual sin that is, I call ’em root issues, that dig into, um, how it serves you in a way.
Um, that we don’t even know. So if you’re struggling with insecurity or rejection, um, to have sex with a woman or to feel, um, you know, empowered by that is serving your ego. It’s serving your pride. So it’s not only that I’m just a dog or I just am uncontrollable, there’s something inside that’s serving that God should be serving instead.
Mm-hmm. And, and so if God is the one, I get my validation from God, I get my affirmation and my identity from God. I don’t need to feel like, like, like, oh, the ladies love me, or I’m getting my affirmation, or I’m powerful from sexual, or even from, um, you know, being able to get compliments and affirmation from women.
And so I think that is one, one of the, one of the things I think also, um, as you said, when, when we get back to the discipline aspect, if, if our flesh desires it, Then we have to starve that thing. Our flesh in that regard, not watching the porn, pornography, not, um, you know mm-hmm. , flirting with women, not watching the magazines and the Instagrams, and not staring at the ladies when we’re out and about.
And we have to starve that aspect of our flesh. And we have to feed our spirit in a way where, um, the things of God are growing in us. You know? And so, um, it’s, it’s, it’s, I think it’s multifacet more than we think. I think we’re just like, discipline, discipline, discipline. But it’s also taking a deep look at some of our trauma as some of our, um, thought processes about why this thing is so hard to break out of, instead of just making it, um, a discipline thing.
24:12 Chris Grainger
Yeah. I’m, I’m curious to get your take on this too, man. Cuz I mean, when you think about the issue of pornography, because pornography can be that gateway to so many things for these guys that it just, it is, right. And when you look back, like when I was growing up, it was magazines, you know, I mean, you try to find, like you stack your dad’s magazines right?
Somewhere. Maybe if you, if you were lucky, you could find that stack. And that’s how you got, that’s how you access it now, man. Like, it’s everywhere. I mean, literally, if you hand your kids an open smartphone, you might as well be handling ’em a pistol that’s fully loaded, right? Yeah. And that’s technology I make.
So, you know, that, that, that those temptations being there the way it is. So many guys I think just try to hide it. And, and you know what? They just, they don’t think it’s that big a deal. I know guys that, you know, they’re married and then, and it’ll be their wife laying in a bed in one room in the, in the bathroom.
They’re looking at pornography like, and it’s just like, You know, you realize you have the real thing laying there, right? Like what, what, what is driving it? So I’m just trying to understand, man, like that, why do we think that we try to hide it so often, and then what made you decide to just bring it out in the light?
Because I think that’s, that’s mainly that you brought that out in the light with your wife and, and decided to hit it head on.
25:24 Torres McLean
Yeah. Well, you know, on, on, on the lines of what you were saying is that I think that, you know, the world teaches us that it’s okay, the world teaches us mm-hmm. , that’s just, just being a part of being a man.
And so it’s a worldly identity that whether we recognize it or not is being, um, infiltrating who we are. And, and so we’re, we’re justifying it because it’s like, oh, I have these desires. God gave me these desires. But like, no, it’s, it’s a perversion. Uh, you know, and it’s our, our own flesh and our own way of wanting to gratify ourselves.
And I think you, one of the dangers is pornography magazines or a lot of these things aren’t, You know, also in addition to just being, you know, sin, they’re also not really promoting godly, um, intimacy with women. They’re not promoting sex in, in a way that’s godly. Not that if it was, that would be make it right, but that’s two different problems.
So the problem is when your wife is laying there, be I, and I really struggle with this, is when your wife is, is laying there, or when you’re married and you’re supposed to do it within the confines of marriage, it’s not appealing anymore because it’s because you’ve only really trained yourself on how to do it perverted, right?
So, so you enjoy the perverted way of it, but when it’s, when it’s godly, you don’t want do it. And that’s no different than when you tell your Tyler or your three-year-old, Hey, don’t touch that thing. And, and we know that the sin, even though you tell ’em soon as you tell ’em they want to do it, You know?
Right. And so we have that same thing going on, like, this is bad sex. Oh no, don’t do it. I’m gonna do it. You know, and, and, and as we indulge that, and then we grow that, um, that becomes our world in terms of sex. And then you have, you know, what we call, you know, in the world, boring sex or like, yeah. It’s just this and, and it’s not, and we would act like our wives or like, it’s not fun, but it’s really that we’ve trained ourselves to have sex in a perverted way, you know?
And so I think for me, um, as I went through my journey, um, I told you why I kind of originally confessed, which was what, what do I gain from hiding this thing? And I think the hiding is some fear that it was so heavy trying to pretend to be better than I was. Right. And in that moment was just, okay, fine.
Like I’m, I’m, I’m not that, I’m not that awesome. Right? And, and so I just had to confess because the way to. Improvement or sanctification is honestly your first step is admitting you messed up. You know? Yeah. And why I shared now, um, is because of what you said. There are people who, I can’t go back and change what I did, but there are people who are in the middle of my struggle or have went through my struggle or are not quite there, who I can share.
And it really comes down to making it more obvious and bringing to light that this is a struggle. You’re not the only one. Um, right. And even though it’s wrong, you haven’t broken the record of sin. You know, you are facing what other people are facing and there’s a way out, you know, I failed, badda showed me a way out.
There’s a way, there’s another way. Because the most hopeful. Feeling when you’re struggling with sin is that this is just how it is and the best I have is to curve it or to hide it. And so I share it to justly and blatantly to try to come against this, this, this, this religious legalism that we should hide all of our sins and act like we’re doing great on the outside, but deep down, struggling where the devil has us one-on-one and beating us up.
29:09 Chris Grainger
I think it goes back to what you were saying earlier tos about our identity and what do we find our identity in the end. It’s not, it’s not a cheater. You, you, you’re, you, the worst sin that you think that you’ve done. That’s not how God identifies you. I mean, yeah. You, you’ve talked about a little bit in your book around shame and condemnation, and, and I’ve recently been talking, talking and teaching about that around there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.
Right. Outta Romans eight, one. Right. I mean, that’s, that’s, we have to remember that. But at the same time, man, like if you’ve, if you’ve committed some of these horrible sins, you can just feel it’s natural that you just feel defeated. Yeah. And like that’s what you resonate as like, I’m just a cheater. I’m no good.
I suck. I’m terrible. Like I, I can’t do this marriage thing. I don’t know how to do it. Like it’s, so many guys get talk caught in that cycle of negative thinking and they keep ta talking down and talking down and talking down. And I have to remind guys all the time, like, look man, the spirit builds up.
Satan tears down. Yeah. So if those thoughts are coming in that they’re tearing you down, that is from Satan. It is not from the spirit. And, and so man, speak to that shame and condemnation because that is it. Those are tools affect, and they are effective tools that Satan uses. How can we start combating that stuff with truth?
30:16 Torres McLean
Yeah. Man, you man, what you said was so good and I think what I, what I learned on my journey is, you know, you can read the gospel, you can hear the gospel and you can say, okay, God forgives me. But like you got to really meditate and really sit on like, okay, God, while we were still sinners, you know? Right.
Jesus. To die for us. And so it wasn’t a, I’m waiting for you guys to get right , uh, to, to come and do this. He did it while he saw us who we were. Yeah. And so I think that the shame and condemnation, the, the largest part where it got me is that when you mess up, you wanna stay in that place of, I’m so horrible and I’m so bad.
I think it’s okay to, like you said, to admit like, I messed up and I feel horrible about it, and this is bad. But the Bible says that godly sorrow leads to repentance, and repentance leads to salvation versus worldly sorrow just leads to death. So if you stay in sorrow, that’s just in listening to the devil’s condemnation, you’re, you’re, you’re staying in a place of no progress and it’s ultimately dude’s gonna destroy you.
But when you realize like, okay, I did mess up and I do feel horrible, but like I have to lean into God in that moment, I have to. You know, whether I gotta prone out, whether I have to admit and cry, whether I have to confess to another brother, whatever it is, I have to not allow my shame to bully me into a corner of isolation.
I have to lean into God and, and admit what I did wrong, because that is the process of, of getting his grace. And, and, and, and I learned that when I didn’t do that, I would run away from God and there was no answers, in, in that direction of life. I would stay away. I wouldn’t go to church. I wouldn’t read because I would just feel I wasn’t deserving to be around God I didn’t deserve.
And like God was like, shame, shame, shame on you. And so I would go away from the help I needed, but when I really learned that, like, okay, I didn’t get it right. Let me go back to God and try to fix this thing. God, I messed up man. Help me and know, like you said, God is there to say like, okay, you did mess up.
Yeah, but, but I’ve covered that and, and I’m here to help you. I, I want you to admit that you messed up. Let’s get it right and, and to go through that and to fight off that bullying condemnation, and do it as many times you do. And sit on the gospel message of what creek Jesus did on the cross, man. That’s how you break that condemnation and shame, because the devil is hoping that we just beat ourselves up while he’s beating us up.
32:57 Chris Grainger
preach on it towards this. That’s, that’s what’s up right there, man. That’s it. That is totally it right there. Hey guys, we’ll be right back
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So I want to unpack one item toward you. Were talking about your. Because I think this is really important cuz I like to get tactical and, and really help guys, you know, try to, to recognize the, the trips, the ways the Satan is going to throw out. And you mentioned the second this for the second affair.
Mm-hmm. , you know, you, you were, you were walking, you were doing the thing that you felt like God was calling you to do, but you felt like you needed to prove to yourself that you could do this. Uh, it was on a work trip. I think that’s worth unpacking a little bit. So you were away from your, your in your normal environment, you know that the temptations are out there cuz I, I was talking to one of our guests when I first started to show Clarence and he talked about when he travels for work, The boundaries he’s put in place to protect his testimony.
He’s like, cuz I have to put boundaries in place. And he’s saying that spirit leads me to these boundaries, but I put ’em in place. Like for him, he doesn’t go out to dinner with any women. He’s not meeting with women in any one-on-one settings. He kind of practices the Billy Graham rule where you’re never gonna be in a room with a woman by yourself unless it’s your wife.
Okay. Okay. That’s, that’s, that’s Billy’s rule. That was with his rule. He and people just coined at the Billy Graham rule and, and it’s been one that serves me well too. Keeps me outta trouble, you know, . Yeah. I don’t have to worry about it. I’m not, if I’m in a room with another woman, there’s somebody else there, unless it’s my wife.
But you mentioned that, you know, you were on that trip, uh, you were there and you wanted to prove to yourself that you were strong, you know, that you had overcome this. So may unpack that. Cause I think it’s where a lot of guys get in trouble is when we get in these scenarios and we try to feel. Three words, I got this.
And at the end of the day, we don’t got this, you know, so many times we gotta lean in on spirit. So I’d love to just hear more about that and what you would share to guys who maybe travel for work or, or, or find themselves in these types of scenarios. What did you learn from that and what, what would you encourage them as they, you know, go forth and to try to make the most out of their testimony?
36:37 Torres McLean
Um, I think, I think you said it best, like you have to know yourself and you have to know, um, that the devil is roaming around, you know? And, and it’s not because necessarily you just have to be a bad person. You have to be looking for, um, there, there, there’s a pitfall or a snare, you know, around the corner, you know, and so, um, you can’t become lax or lackadaisical in, in your walk.
And, and so I think that, Uh, just knowing, being honest and, and and transparent because sometimes we can get to a place where you feel like, I shouldn’t have to do this, or other people don’t have to do this. Or we can start being irritated that we even have to, you know, put up these boundaries and, and, and, and so, but being just humble about it and saying like, no, I don’t do this, or I, um, shouldn’t do this.
And I think, I think that just that honest, that honesty with yourself Yeah. You know, is, is a, is a real powerful step. And for me, I think also just really, like I said, for mine, it was that identity piece, man, knowing who you are and how you want, uh, to be, you know? And then from that, You can set up the parameters that are consistent with that identity.
But if, but if you try to, sometimes when you try to work it backwards, like, okay, I’m just gonna do this and do that, it becomes, uh, a burdensome thing and it becomes heavy. And, and we don’t like it because we may not see, we may not know why we’re doing it. I’m just gonna do this, I’m just gonna do that and do that.
And, and it was just like, nah, I wanna do all that. But like, start at who you are and, and, and then don’t just, well, I’ll say this, one of the things that really helped me is I started, I worked from being in the room with the woman and doing the action that I didn’t want to do. And I said, you know what?
I’m not strong enough in that room right now. Um, I don’t want to be, it could be an office room, it could be a hotel room, whatever it was. I was honest and I said, I’m not strong enough right now how I am to be in that room. So if I get to that room, I’ve already failed. Right? Maybe I with hope, maybe I, I’m strong, but maybe I’m not.
And it’s too much at stake to get there. So then I had to take, okay, what’s the step before that room? Okay, what’s the step before that room, before that place? And I worked it all the way back to before I would even, let’s just say go on a trip. So I’m sitting in my room, these are the steps now that I know prevents me from getting to that room.
Right? And so I was very, very, very practical about that thing in terms of like, I’m taking this step early. That may not make sense, but I know because of the, the process that I’m, that this step is gonna help me not to get to that place I don’t want to be. Right. And I think sometimes we, we, we miss all that beginning and we’re just like, don’t do the big sin.
But no, there’s little sins along the way and little steps along the way that lead to that, that big sin that we’re struggling with.
39:53 Chris Grainger
You are all, you’re all over. And one thing I wanna bring up to the guys who may be saying, well, well, Chris, I’ve never had that issue of, you know, going, going away for work and being in a hotel and, and, and, and, and walking that out.
My question to you guys would be this, can you hand your wife your phone right now completely unlocked and go, go into another room or go to the bathroom and not have a panic attack? , like, if she could see your phone, your, your computer right now and look at your browsing history without you touching it, would, would you have any concerns?
Right? I mean, these, these types of, they’re two small tests right there that you can ask yourself. And I’m gonna tell you what if you that, if I convicted you just with those two questions right now. The spirit’s trying to tell you something. Yeah. And to tourist’s point, reverse engineer that, start walking that back and then put some tactical things in place so that, that’s not going to be a hindrance.
Cuz Satan’s going to use those things. And if you don’t reco, you have to recognize ’em first. Cuz you may just think, well this is just somebody I follow on Instagram. Well, I’m gonna tell you what if, if they’re barely, you know, closed, barely covering them, should you be following that? Right. I mean, we, we can try to justify stuff all day long, man.
But at the end of the day to say, I mean, the Lord knows our heart and, and our desires. So let’s let, let’s, we gotta put those things in place, man. So I just, I wanted to unpack that a little bit because I’m gonna tell you this, it’s not just a, well, I’m not sleeping with her. Well, you know, what does, what does Jesus say about, you know, is whoever has that lust man.
He Yeah. Just a lust. Yeah. And you’re already, you’re already out. Right?
41:25 Torres McLean
Yeah. That’s so good, Chris.
41:29 Chris Grainger
Well, man, let, let’s keep talking cuz I, I’m telling, I’m, I’m, I’m learning a lot from you now. I want to, and I know we, you, you have to be speaking on her behalf, but when you got to that point and, and you were telling you were con, you were making that confession, what did that path of forgiveness looks like?
Because we, there’s probably guys listening who have walked your path or, or maybe they’re, they’re, they’re in the road right now and they’re trying to fi they’re, they don’t know, you know, what that a path of forgiveness looks like. So with you and your wife now, uh, like how did, how did, how did it start off?
How did that path of forgiveness look like getting started just to kind of begin the healing and then what have you guys done now as a married couple? Cuz you said you’re married, got four children. Obviously you’re doing a lot of things together now. It sounds like you have a wonderful marriage. So love for, for you to share some of these tips that you’ve learned or some steps that maybe she had to take or Yeah.
That you had to take
42:22 Torres McLean
just to get there. Yeah. You know, man, I think. For me, and I have to be honest, because of the level of shame and, and guilt I was feeling, man, I was not the person that I am now as open and honest and, you know, uh, humble in the beginning stages. I have to be honest. And, and it really wasn’t because I wanted to be prideful, but to really sit in it and, and acknowledge how much you messed up, man, it is heavy.
Yeah. Especially if you’re not really grabbing a hold of the gospel of Jesus Christ and, and the forgiving work that he did for us and like, and so I was running kind of from it and so that, what that looked like is, yes, I confessed and we had that moment, but. Women want to know answers, you know? And so, yeah, you know, the questions begin well, how, and, and this and, and it was a disconnect of like how I could explain it.
And so it was some hard days. It really was, man. And I have to be honest, it wasn’t all peachy cream. We didn’t get to this point that we are now overnight. It was a lot of tears, you know, from her and, and anger, and anger and, you know, distrust and resentment. And it was a lot of frustration for me. And we talked about divorce because, um, I was like, well, maybe she should divorce me.
And I was thinking like, well, if it’s going to be bad, you know, this isn’t something to raise children in. This isn’t something neither one of us want to be in for the next, you know, this was like our first two years, so this is not something we wanna be in for the next seven or 10 or 20 years. And so, right, we went through that phase.
We went to counseling, um, uh, and we, we, we were trying to read books, but, but really where. It really, I believe, began to, um, shift was that I was really doing the work with God, uh mm-hmm. , that was my main focus. I wasn’t absent of being a husband, I wasn’t not talking to her. We were still, you know, partnering and things like that and talking through things, but I was doing so much of the work, or God was doing so much of the work with me.
She started to see me change. She started to see me change and then I, and then I would be, I would try to, um, be patient. And even though I wasn’t perfect at it, we’re understanding like, man, she, she just doesn’t trust me. Like I’m, I’m changing, like, or I’m working at it. But like, it wasn’t overnight and I had to be patient with her.
And then she had to really sit with God, and she had to really admit some things. And her, her testimony is that she had put me up on an item mm-hmm. . And so when I came crashing down, you know, she went to God and, and, and I, and I don’t think she has a problem with me speaking for her on this. Uh, but, but God, why have you forsaken me?
You know? And, and, and she felt, God was saying, why have you forsaken me? You know? And so she went through her own journey of realizing like, okay, I need to grow closer to God. And so we both, uh, we allowed the situation to bring us both closer to God. And so, yeah, to be honest, we were not aligned. But as I was growing closer to God and she was going closer to God, and then we were still doing some of the practical work in the middle, which really wasn’t doing the heavy lifting.
As we grew closer to God, God started to bring us closer. Yeah. And so we didn’t, we didn’t, we didn’t stop praying, you know, we didn’t stop trying to read the Bible together. We just, uh, kept working and growing closer to God and God just kept healing her hearts. And then there was practical things we put into place, like, um, you know, I stopped going out as much and I stopped doing things.
And so she saw so much of the change, but, uh, honestly I had to pray for her and I had to ask God to let her forgive me and she had to pray for me. And so, um, it was, it was definitely a journey of patience and, um, really just growing with God and letting him heal our hearts. Yeah.
46:41 Chris Grainger
I’m so glad you shared that TAUs, cuz I mean, it’s, I’ve talked to guys I’m in, I’m actually working with a guy right now that his wife left and he’s trying to figure out, you know, his, how did I get her back?
How did I get her back? And there was no infidelity there on his part actually though, in this case. But I kept, what, what I tell guys in this situation, like you, man, it is just like, look, You gotta, you gotta be the man that God’s called you to be. Mm-hmm. and you need to work on you. Mm-hmm. And if you do that and you keep running towards Jesus and everything you do with all you have and let that be your driver, the spirit’s gonna take care of rest.
Cuz you can’t change her. In reality is, I mean, your situation, it did work out right. It worked out and you guys stayed back together. But reality is sometimes it don’t always, that’s not always gonna happen. But if you are just pursuing God and, and cuz that’s the only thing at the end of the day, we can’t, contr can control is ourselves and our actions and, and what, what God has called us to do.
The rest of you, you just have to trust the spirit. And you said a word that I know I hate patience, man. You just gotta have patience with this stuff and it’s so hard, so hard, so hard. But man, I just, I think, I think it’s such a beautiful testimony for, for you to one, share that that’s what you had to do.
You had to figure out that it was, it was not much about me. It’s just, or the relationship, but, but I, who the guy, the, the guy, the man that God has called me to be, that’s who I need to focus on. And I think that’s just beautiful, man. That’s, I was so, yeah,
48:05 Torres McLean
I was so broken, Chris, to be honest, I was so broken and the realization of that, um, I didn’t feel like I was worthy to be somebody’s husband, you know what I mean?
Honestly. And, and, and, and whether that was true or not, I was working on me because it was just like, man, I, no matter what happens, I have to get better, like you said, like, and mm-hmm. , even if me and my wife was to stay together, I have to get better. Like that has to happen. And so it was the only thing I knew I could do.
And really it was the only thing that I felt I had the. Even some, sometimes the, the, the thought process to do because it was like, man, I don’t want you to be married to this old guy. You know, like, right. I don’t want that. And so, yeah, man, working on you and like you said, you said it best. That is ultimately the thing to do.
And God will do. My wife is no credit of mine. You know, I wish, I, I don’t wish, but I could get on here and say, well, I, I bought roses and I did this thing, but no man, it was a worth of God. Right. That was the only way she came to this place of forgiven me was that God in his grace softened her heart because she was mad.
She didn’t trust me and the relationship was all broken.
49:28 Chris Grainger
Right, right. Man. Such powerful truth right there. Well, look, we’re gonna take our last break, guys. We’ll be right back.
Let me ask you a real personal question. Who are your five closest friends? Are they pulling you closer to God or further away? I know some of many guys that said, man, I ain’t got five friends. You know? Okay, I get it, man. It’s hard. It’s hard to make those true connections. So what we did at the line with innocence, we started a community.
That community is where brotherhood happens. It’s where guys come together. So guys, if you, if you’re struggling right now, if you feel a little bit isolated or alone, you need to hop in the community. You’re gonna find brothers there that are gonna come alongside you, that want to help you. Wherever you’re at, wherever you’re at.
Guys, don’t think you have to be some theologian to join. No. We’re all just regular men who want to deepen our relationship with Jesus Christ to ultimately be the leader God intends us to be. That’s what it’s about. So, hop over to the community guys. We have a lot of live events as well, so you can hop in, you can kind of just sit there and watch.
You don’t have to really jump in. If that’s not who you are right now, hop in on a lion lunch. Maybe go to one of our Bible studies that we have going on. Maybe check out some of our courses that we have available. Or ask me anything events where we have previous guests come in and share their expertise.
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So again, hop over to the line within.us. Click on join from that 30 day free trial so you can get started today. I look forward to seeing you inside the den.
I’m curious, so what, what does your wife look like now and, and you said you have four kids or boys, girls, what you got going on there?
51:36 Torres McLean
Yeah, so, uh, two boys, two girls. It goes boy, girl, boy, girl. Um, okay, okay. Yeah. And so, uh, we’ve been married, like I said, we just celebrated nine years and, um, me and my wife, we have, we started a ministry called the Hope Ambassadors.
And so we, um, and one of the main things we’re doing right now is our YouTube channel, the Hope Ambassadors, where we’re sharing our story, and we are sharing the, the, the ugly, the good, the bad, and the ugly, you know, and really a lot of ugly led to the good, you know, and, uh, what God did with it. And so, um, we, me and my wife are blown away, man.
Our wi our at our testimony right now because we didn’t know that God could, could, could really do, do this in us, considering where it looked like. And so the fact that then he started to impress upon us to be. Uh, available to share it, you know, was like, whoa, you turned this into a ministry. And so our ministry is very much, um, uh, it’s been birthed out of this, this, this, this horrible situation that we went through.
You know, I, um, you know, wrote the book, but also, you know, talk and this with guys in person and, and on calls and, you know, and, and group calls. And then we also are doing a YouTube. So really it’s our, our marriage where we’re stronger than it’s ever been, and we’re raising our children the best we can to, to, to grow in the admonition of the Lord and the love of God.
And, you know, just, it, it’s amazing, um, what God has really done, man. And so we’re just, we’re, we’re just grateful man and humbled, but we have to decrease to share a story because we don’t have the perfect story of marriage. We don’t have the perfect. Family and a perfect life. And it was always right. We, we have to decrease to really be honest, to share with people, um, that yes is good right now, but don’t look at what you see and think that , it’s always been like that.
Like we have to work at this thing.
53:39 Chris Grainger
Right. So you said it’s called Hope Ambassadors. What’s, what’s the, uh, let’s, let’s just give a shout out to the website. Where do you want them to go? Excuse me? Where do you want ’em to go? To check that out?
53:49 Torres McLean
Yeah, we want you to go to, uh, the Hope Ambassadors and that’s on YouTube.
That’s the go like or subscribe our YouTube channel. That’s where a lot of our content is right now. Um, and, and so we’re, we’re really doing a lot of videos there and it’s not only marriage videos, we call it fighting Free Marriage win, but it’s also, um, just, that’s our, that’s our ministry. And so, um, you also can find us on, uh, you know, Facebook or Instagram as well at the Hope Ambassadors as well.
54:16 Chris Grainger
Okay. Okay. Well, we’ll make sure we have that, those, those links in the show notes for you listeners out there for sure. But it sound like it’s some pretty powerful stuff that you and your wife are doing with, are the kids part of this yet, or are they still too, too young?
54:28 Torres McLean
Yeah, so my oldest is nine and my youngest is one.
And so, but they actually do, they have a, they, they, they don’t want to call it the Hope Ambassadors kids, so they call it Kids Disciples, but they, uh, every first Friday they, they host a, a group call and they’re, they’re, you know, uh, sharing with their learning and sharing bible truths and things like that.
And so, um, they’re, they’re on their way. They’re, they’re, they’re, they’re on their way and so we’re trying to, you know, be patient with them. But no, we try to be transparent. So they have, we have little videos on there about kind of our lives and when they’re, how they’re, you know, doing Yeah. Things like my son just did kind of like a, the tomb is empty thing, just kind on his own Holy Spirit just did it or whatever.
So we, we share those kind of videos to let people know, like, You know, we’re we a regular family, you know, going through it too, you know? That’s
55:17 Chris Grainger
very cool. And for, for, I know we have a lot of listeners, but for the ones that don’t watch our YouTube drops, you may wanna check it out cuz Torres just lit up when he started talking about his family being part of this.
So I’m excited to check that out. That’s gonna be pretty cool. So you’ve reached the end of our, our, our, our primary interview, but we, we, we have what we like to call feeding time TAs. We’re just gonna ask a, a quick lightning ground. Okay. Have a little fun with it. Get let the listeners know a little bit more about you.
So if you’re willing to play, we’ll jump right in. Yeah, let’s do it. Let’s do it. All right. Alright. Right. So I I, I start off with, with, with just a, the question that gets to the heart that I wanna know from every guy. So what’s your favorite thing about God?
55:56 Torres McLean
Hmm. My favorite thing about God,
I, I believe, is that he works. All things together, you know, but for the good of those that love him, those call according to his purpose. And so I just, when I look back over, you know, I’m 35, or when I even look back over my life at this point, whether I knew it or didn’t, I can see God’s hand on me and I can see, um, his love and his faithfulness in my life.
And so it’s always encouraging just to know, like sometimes I don’t have it all together. Sometimes I don’t understand. Sometimes I’m just out here giving it my best, but really not sure where, where things are gonna land. And just to know that God is always with me and he got my, he has my back. So when I look back another 30 years later, I’ll be able to see like, wow, the hand of the Lord was there even when I didn’t see it.
You know, even when I was at my lowest points, God, uh, was present.
57:01 Chris Grainger
That’s it. That’s it. Love that. So now let’s flip that 180. What’s your least favorite thing about Satan? Hmm,
57:13 Torres McLean
Oh, okay. I think my least favorite thing is that he tries to steal our praise and our faith in God. You know, when I look at the core root of what he always is trying to do, he’s trying to discourage us. Why he is trying to affect us. Why? Because he doesn’t want us to be connected to God. He doesn’t want us to believe in him.
He doesn’t want us to pl praise him, and he doesn’t want God to get the glory. And so that’s probably the thing that at my worst moments when I’m just don’t feel like praising, to be honest or, or just feeling frustrated and. You know, I’ll say, no, Satan, you will not win. God, you are good. I’ll find a way to, to try to praise God, because I know that Satan’s ultimately trying to steal my faith in trying to steal my praise.
Right? And so I think that’s where I hate the most, that level of disconnection from our creator, from our father, you know?
58:11 Chris Grainger
I know, man. He’s, he’s definitely good at that at times. But we can, we can push, we can, we can push through for sure. With his, with the, the Lord’s help. So, yeah. So next question. What are you currently struggling with right now?
58:25 Torres McLean
question. Um, yeah, transparently, so I four children. Yeah. And so my marriage is very strong. Um, based off everything we went through and where the Lord has grown us, um, as a father, um, I feel I see some, some similarities in the process of trying to grow in that area and trying to, um, You know, parent my children, um, you know, being led by the Holy Spirit, but not be so, um, I guess, yeah, just not legalistic and not worrying about ’em all the time and trusting God with them.
You know, the, the, the, the parenting the father role, you take it serious what you should, but sometimes if’s not careful. You will forget that God, these are God’s children. Right. And you’re still a steward, you know? And so sometimes instead of thinking like a steward or a manager, because I love them so much, um, yeah, I am very enmeshed to a point where, you know, I get, I get overwhelmed or stressed and I have to come out and I have to say, okay.
You’re gonna handle this. What do you want me to plant or water in them? And I’ll just trust you with the increase. Whether they listen, whether it seem like it’s working. Just teach me how to plant in water in my children. And, and so I’m, I’m, uh, you know, I’m, I’m in the thick of that with four children young and we had some stair steps, but, uh, God is doing so much and teaching me so much.
It’s really about the same things we’re talking about, staying encouraged, breaking shame and condemnation, sitting with the Lord and just keep working at it and just trust
1:00:02 Chris Grainger
it’s gonna work out so well. You’re reading the best parenting manual out there, so you know it. He will show you, you know, you just have to, to, to get into the word and I guarantee the spirit will guide you there.
So let’s keep going. Let’s do a couple more. So what, what do you spend too much time doing last year? Look over to last year. Where did you spend too much time doing? Hmm,
1:00:24 Torres McLean
too much time. I would say too much time.
Not, uh, being decisive at moments, I guess, to be honest. Like, you know, there’s been moments where you are like, God, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? You know, and I think the Lord meets for sure, but then there’s other times where God is like, trust me. So make a decision. I got, you know, and sometimes I, I would get, I would get froze in forking the road moments instead of, you know, uh, trying to just move and trust God.
And so I would say, um, not being still, but not in the be still and know that I’m God just being frozen. Right.
1:01:06 Chris Grainger
So, yeah. That’s right. I’m with you. Yeah. So what’s a, we’re here beginning of the year. What’s a new habit that you’re going to create or maybe a recent habit that you’ve created that you like to share with our guys?
1:01:18 Torres McLean
Yeah. So me, me, me and the wife, we are, uh, we pray together and we. Uh, obviously talk a lot about God, but we wanted to go to the next level with our worship with God. So we are okay, we are setting aside more time to intentionally, um, be before the Lord together along, even though we have our individual time, but come together more and give God glory and, and just sit with him and be, and just be open to what he wants to tell us together.
1:01:55 Chris Grainger
Okay. That’s great, man. That is great. So, last question for you and then you, after, after Nelson, you, you will have survived. So what’s one thing that you hope the men out there listening to date remember from our conversation? Yeah,
1:02:10 Torres McLean
I, I hope, I hope the men and, and I, and I think we both said it, but I hope people know to really run to Jesus, you know, really, um, lean into ’em, um, and humble yourself, you know, as men.
Um, We’d always wanna cry. We don’t always wanna admit we don’t know things. We want to try to work things in our own strength. We want to have all the answers, you know? Um, but, but a lot of times in life when you get to these moments when you fell short or you’re just struggling or you don’t know where, where, where to go, um, if you just lean into Jesus, and if you just tell God, I don’t know, and start there and just say, help me, um, that is a starting point to a lot of testimonies and the joy that comes in the morning, you know, um, of, of these bad situations or these tough situations that we’re in.
And so I, I, I think our tendency is to not do that and to keep running around in our own strength or trying to stay busy and avoiding that, that humble place. But I think if we would just fall on our knees or on our faces or just sit down and say, God, I don’t have it, and just be that leader, be that husband, be that man.
That father that, that that can be humble with God, so he can get the strength to then show up in the other areas you need to. Um, I, I, I think we would, we would really be on our way to being Kingdom Kingdom men.
1:03:37 Chris Grainger
Amen bro. Amen. Well, this has been a wonderful, wonderful conversation towards, so thank you so much.
Where, where do you want the guys to go? Obviously Hope Ambassadors, anywhere else you’d like them to go to connect with you, to be able to learn more or to get the book.
1:03:50 Torres McLean
Yeah, so definitely again, connect with the Hope ambassadors on our YouTube. Um, and then as well, you can find Manco, uh, two words towards McLean, um, on Amazon.
It’s available on Amazon. And, uh, you know, really check out the book is Blessing People. And I, and I just always encourage people that, um, I believe the way God had me write it was, um, sexual sin is is what he wanted me. Uh, focus on and put the title on, but, but, um, really there’s some, there’s some godly truths in there that’ll help you if you’re struggling with any type of, you know, sin in, in, in, in that area.
So check it out. Absolutely. I
1:04:28 Chris Grainger
definitely highly remem highly recommend you guys checking out. I read this one cover to cover. Uh, it’s a great read, good resources and just love the transparency that Toras had. So anything else you’d like to share today, sir?
1:04:39 Torres McLean
No, man. And, and, and, and, and make sure you guys, I know you guys already following, but really connect with Chris man.
He has, he has a, he has a good heart and he’s doing it, um, the right way. And, and, and so just, uh, I, I thank, I thank Chris for, I thank you for your availability, man. Just coming and doing this for men and I know, um, you know, it’s blessing a
1:04:59 Chris Grainger
lot of people, so thank you. Absolutely. It’s an honor, sir. Well, I hope you have a wonderful day.
You too, Chris.
How many of you guys can recite all the lines of sweet home, Alabama without breathing hard? But when it comes to recalling God’s word, you get stuck to help you out. We identify 10 scriptures you need to fight like a lion and a plan to help you get them cemented in your heart. So grab this free resource and I’m gonna come alongside of you in a series of personal and engaging messages.
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All right guys, I told you it was a powerful one and I, and, and I didn’t. I know you’re not disappointed. So that was a really great conversation with TAUs, powerful man of God. And as you go forth this week, I want you to think about the question that I’ve talked about for the week. What does faithfulness look like in your marriage?
Now, we talked about a lot of things. You know, maybe you haven’t actually walked down the path of where you’re, you’re having an affair, but can you hand your wife your cell phone unlocked at any time and not worry about it? Or does that thought cause your heart to start racing? Maybe you start getting a little sweaty.
What about your, your computer or your browsing history? If you were to share that, what about your calendar? Are you having, uh, maybe some lunches or some meetings with, with individuals you shouldn’t be having? This is not just women, but just maybe it’s other stuff. Maybe you’re doing things on your calendar.
What about your finances? Do you have a, do you have a fudge account that you got where you hide some money? So that you can lean in and do things you shouldn’t be doing. Now guys, I know I’m, I’m bringing up things that, you know, quite frankly, a lot of you guys may not like, and that’s, I’m okay with that.
Cause I, I understand that it’s not, it’s me that you don’t like. It’s the spirit, the spirit’s convicting you right now. So take conversations like, like we just had with Taurus. Learn from them and then start making some changes. And the best way I can tell you guys to do is just start bringing this stuff out in the light.
Because if you put the light on it, whatever it is, the spirit will help you. The spirit will guide you. Will it be easy? No, it’s going to be hard, but I guarantee you that suppressing it, trying to hide, trying to live in this, this, this, this life that, you know, you feel like you, you, you, you can do this on your own.
You’re just going to. And I want you to, to not have that, I want you to do what we talked about in our verse of the week. Be on the alert stand firm of the faith. Act like man, and be strong. And to do all that, you have to walk into light. That’s what it’s about. So hopefully you enjoyed this episode, this conversation.
Give us a rating and review. Five stars. Write a review if you haven’t done that yet. Seriously guys, what are you waiting on? Give us a radio interview that takes like five seconds to go do that. Okay. And then hop over to our community. Cuz TAUs and I, we talked a lot and we even talked after, after we recorded about the importance of community.
The importance that, that, that men are, are looking for connection with other guys in a meaningful way. Not just a Pew inning church way. I’m talking about a meaningful way where you can have actual conversations and the line within us. That’s what we’ve built. We’ve built the community, we’ve built it, and we serve it every day.
And yes, we, we, we put a lot of effort into this. We put a lot of scrutiny into it. We put a lot of of resources there cuz we know how important it is. We know Satan wants you to fail. He definitely wants you to fail in your marriage. He wants you to fail, fail with your kids. He wants you to fail at work.
So we’re gonna do all we can in all those areas to give you the resources and support that you need to win, to do the things that God has called you to do. And we know that you can’t do that alone. You need other guys out there that are gonna be rallying around you. And quite frankly, it can be hard with your local guys to do that.
Sometimes you just need to connect with guys all over, and that’s the beauty of what we have. We have guys all over the country who are in there every day leaning in, helping each other. So take advantage of the 30 day free trial. Guys, I’m not asking you to lock in anything out the gate, but go start your 30 day free trial and just see what it’s like.
Just see what it’s like. If all you do is pop in and come to a couple live events and say, huh, you know what? This isn’t for me. Hop out. No, no harm, no foul. But I guarantee you, if you actually lean in and go to an event, And have a conversation with the guys that want to have conversations with you and be transparent, be vulnerable, and actually come looking to grow.
You will find it without a shallow doubt. You will find it. We have testimony after testimony of guys in that community who are growing every day, but they’re only growing cause they’re showing up. So take advantage of your 30-day free trial. Go to the lion within us, that’s the lion within us. Click on 30-day free trial.
It’s all over the main page to get started. I’m in there every day. You can connect with me directly. We can have conversations. I would love to be able to serve you. So guys, again, check it out, the lion within.us. Come back on Friday and we’ll unpack a few really good tips on our Fun Friday episode that you do not wanna miss.
Guys, I guarantee you a couple of these tips you probably haven’t heard of before. And these are, these are gonna hopefully serve you well as you try to lead your family, lead your spouse, lead your finances, your career, all the things that you know that God wants you to, to, to step up. And take ownership of.
We’ll try to give you some, some good advice on this on our next Fun Friday. So hopefully prayerfully, we’ll see you there on that one. And remember to keep unleashing and lying within.
Torres shares ultimate truth with is completely transparent in the struggles he faced. Some of the items covered are:
- Discipleship and why men meaningful relationships to navigate the trials that are going to come.
- How the grip of sexual sin catches so many and the tools Satan uses to trip us up.
- The gateway that pornography opens.
- How to recognize the lies of the evil one when shame and condemnation creep up.
- What a path of confession and forgiveness consists of.
Being a man means understanding doing things your way leads to destruction. The manliest thing you can do is deny yourself and follow Christ. Torres learned this and now is on fire for the Lord.
He and his wife have an amazing ministry called Hope Ambassadors and they are saving marriages by sharing their story. You can connect with his ministry on YouTube here.
If you are caught in the trap of sexual sin there is hope. Turn to Christ and let He guide you down the path of healing like nothing else on this Earth can.
Following Christ is how you unleash the Lion Within!
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