Check out a highlight from last week’s podcast: What Do You Do When You’ve Failed As a Husband?
Check out this verse – Isaiah 61:7 — “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance…”
I’ve spent a lot of years carrying things God never asked me to carry.
One of the heaviest was shame.
When I first started taking my faith seriously, I would open my Bible and read about the men God used throughout Scripture. I’d see the standards of holiness, leadership, and obedience, and instead of feeling encouraged, I’d feel defeated. The gap between where I was and where I thought I should be felt enormous.
The enemy had a field day with that.
The whispers came quickly:
“You’re not qualified.” “You’re not spiritual enough.” “Other men can lead their families, but not you.” “Look at your mistakes.” “Look at your failures.”
And for a long time, I believed those lies.
The biggest casualty of that thinking was my willingness to lead spiritually at home. I convinced myself that role belonged to men who had it all together. Men who knew more Scripture. Men who didn’t struggle like I did. Men who seemed stronger, wiser, and more mature.
So instead of stepping into leadership, I stepped back.
What I eventually learned is that shame has a way of making passive men out of us. It convinces us that because we aren’t perfect, we shouldn’t participate. Because we’ve failed, we should sit on the sidelines. Because we’ve fallen short, we should let someone else carry the responsibility.
But that’s not how God works.
Isaiah was speaking to people who knew failure firsthand. Israel had rebelled, wandered, suffered consequences, and experienced humiliation. Yet God didn’t leave them there. Through Isaiah, He declared that shame would not have the final word.
“Instead of your shame…”
I love that phrase because it reminds me that God specializes in replacement. He replaces ashes with beauty. Mourning with joy. Despair with praise. And shame with restoration.
That’s the story of the Gospel.
God is not in the business of permanently identifying His sons by their worst moments. He redeems. He restores. He rebuilds. The very things we think disqualify us are often the things He uses to display His grace.
That doesn’t mean the memories disappear overnight. Even now there are moments when old thoughts try to creep back in. But I’ve learned that shame grows strongest in isolation. It feeds on secrecy. It thrives when we focus exclusively on our failures.
Its power weakens when we bring those struggles into the light and continue walking forward in obedience.
One of the greatest lies I ever believed was that because I struggled, I couldn’t lead. What I’ve discovered is that God isn’t looking for perfect men. He’s looking for surrendered men.
Your wife doesn’t need a flawless husband. Your children don’t need a flawless father. Your brothers in Christ don’t need a flawless friend. They need a man who is willing to submit himself to God and keep moving forward, even when he falls.
The enemy wants you carrying shame like a backpack filled with bricks. Jesus invites you to lay it down at the foot of the cross.
So let me encourage you today. Please stop allowing shame to narrate your identity.
You are not your worst mistake. You are not your greatest failure. You are not the labels you’ve placed on yourself.
You are a son of the King.
And because of Jesus, your story is not defined by what you’ve done but by what He has done for you.
Leave the shame at the cross.
And whatever you do, — Don’t pick it back up.